You are hereSuccessful sports professional can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both and give your own opinion.

Successful sports professional can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both and give your own opinion.


Listya Aina Firda's picture

By Listya Aina Firda - Posted on 24 July 2013

Essay topic: 

Successful sports professional can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both and give your own opinion.

Sports are the exercise that could help us to maintain our body. Today, sports become a profession. The reason why few people choose sport as a profession is the income. The successful sports professionals would reach higher payment than others. On contrary, some other people do not agree with the salary. Moreover, they argue that it is unfair.

There are some varieties of sports, including football. Nowadays, football is one of the popular sports in the world that the successful players could earn high payment rather than other workers. This case also happens in Indonesia. A group of people think that the salary is balance with the job because the football players have to do their best for their country. It means they have a very huge duty.

On the other hand, other people argue that it is unfair because there are other professions which should earn income higher than the football players. One of the examples is a teacher who has responsibility to help her country to educate young people and build the youth to be a great leader in the future. However, their salary is lower than a successful football player. For example, Christiano Ronaldo, one of the famous football players, gets salary more than $ 50,000 per year. Besides, a teacher reaches approximately $ 20,000 per year. It is unfair, because football players will not be successful players if they are not taught by a teacher.

From the above, I think sports professionals and other professions have different responsibilities that should be appreciated. Football players and teachers have their duties on their job, although the income is different. I think it will be better if teachers get more than football players’ salary, because they have huge responsibility rather than football players.

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flaws:
No. of Different Words: 140 200
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.6 21.0

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 292 350
No. of Characters: 1438 1500
No. of Different Words: 140 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.134 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.925 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.579 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 111 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 70 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 40 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 21 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.6 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.228 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.45 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.32 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.489 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.082 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5