Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in the other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In this world, some people, who find a job, possess individual method to obtain more salary. The professions can attach big impact in their lives because every person meet different profession with others and it can become big effect for them. Here in Indonesia, some people think that professions of someone influence the quantity of salary their accept from their job, and in Indonesia, the famous work that may produce much money become sports professionals. Nevertheless, many people think it is unfair for others.
Groups of people who say 'unfair' in this case of giving argument about quantity of money when people find from their job think other opinion because people can get big salary not only from professions become sports professionals but also from other professions. For example, people become the leadership in one of big company in this world and become the leadership in a country. Besides, this statement is unfair for other people who have not a job become sports professionals, sometimes people who have not job become sports professionals may possess more money than people who have job become sports professionals.
On the other hand, some other people keep on believing that sports professionals which supply more salary may become positive impact for people live. For example football professionals, it not only attach more money, but also influence to improve people skill in sports because it has big effect for someone who find a job become sports professionals such as get big responsible in their job.
In short, I believe that obtain more salary not only from sports professionals, but also from important professions in one of big company in this world. People may not invent much money without hard working for get it.
Sentence: In short, I believe that obtain more salary not only from sports professionals, but also from important professions in one of big company in this world.
Description: The fragment that obtain more is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace obtain with obtaining
Sentence: People may not invent much money without hard working for get it.
Description: The token for is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to for and get
flaws:
No. of Different Words: 112 200
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 288 350
No. of Characters: 1434 1500
No. of Different Words: 112 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.12 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.979 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.587 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 112 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 53 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 34 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.182 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.928 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.818 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.483 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.644 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.162 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5