The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.
The line graph illustrates the amount of people 65 age and plus in Japan, Sweeden and USA over the century from 1940 to 2040 as indicated on x-axis. The y-axis demonstrates the propotion of population from 0% to 30%. Overall, the population of USA and Sweeden increased and will be increase, however, the population in Japan not changed markedly until now but will sharply increase in the future.
In 1940, the propotion of population in Japan, Sweeden and USA was respectively 5%, about 7% and under 10%. Although, population of USA and Sweeden went up gradually, by this time, in Japan population flactuated and again was at the beginning level 5% in 2005. Interestingly, population of USA levelled off from 2000 till now, while, population in Sweeden rose to 20%, as well as, in Japan propotion of older people went up to approximately 7%. According to the legend, the projected proportion in Sweeden and USA will increase steadily from under 20% to about 25% ,whereas, the proportion of older people will sharply climb to around 30% in last decade.
It is clear from the line graph that birth and death rate in both countries will change significantly.
and will be increase,
and will be increasing,
the population in Japan not changed markedly
the population in Japan was not changed markedly
population of USA levelled off from 2000 till now,
Suggestion: what does it mean 'till now'?
Sentence: The y-axis demonstrates the propotion of population from 0 to 30.
Error: propotion Suggestion: proportion
Sentence: In 1940, the propotion of population in Japan, Sweeden and USA was respectively 5, about 7 and under 10.
Error: propotion Suggestion: proportion
Sentence: Although, population of USA and Sweeden went up gradually, by this time, in Japan population flactuated and again was at the beginning level 5 in 2005.
Error: flactuated Suggestion: fluctuated
Sentence: Interestingly, population of USA levelled off from 2000 till now, while, population in Sweeden rose to 20, as well as, in Japan propotion of older people went up to approximately 7.
Error: propotion Suggestion: proportion
flaws:
The second paragraph is not developed well.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 8 10
No. of Words: 197 200
No. of Characters: 921 1000
No. of Different Words: 100 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.746 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.675 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.79 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 58 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 47 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 34 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 27 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.625 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.432 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.375 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.494 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.673 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.163 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 4