The two graphs below show the percentage of smokers and the consumption of alcohol in litres in selected countries, for the period 1960-2000. Summarize the information by choosing and reporting the key features and make any relevant comparisons.
These two graphs illustrate the proportion of smokers in the population of several big countries and also citizen’s alcohol consumption in four decades start from 1960 to 2000. From these graphs, it can be generally seen that American people are dominant in cigarette and alcohol user among other countries.
The first graph showed that the percentage of smokers in America remained reasonably steady for 10 years from 1960 and began decrease from 1970 onwards. While in Japan and Holland, the percentage of cigarette user declined steadily towards 2000. During 1980 to 2000, the percentage of smokers in USA and Japan were same whereas Netherland was the lowest.
It can be seen in the second graph that there were different pattern in citizen’s alcohol consumption in Turkey, USA, and Netherland. In America, amount of alcohol consumption increase steadily from 1960 onwards and reached the peak at 1980, more than 10 litres per person. On the other hand, alcohol consumption in Holland increased sharply towards 1980 and became the highest. After that the amount in States and Holland decrease slightly until 2000. Contrast with those 2 countries, Turkey citizen did not drink alcohol more than 2 litres per person. From 1960, the amount just increased slightly and reached the peak at 1980, then decreased slightly to 1990 but increased again towards 2000.
Interestingly, proportion of cigarette user in USA, Japan, and Holland were decreased surprisingly almost 20% in four decades. Overall, in Western countries people drank alcohol more than Eastern countries and for the smoker both Western and Eastern were high although it was decreased at the end.
Sentence: During 1980 to 2000, the percentage of smokers in USA and Japan were same whereas Netherland was the lowest.
Description: The fragment USA and Japan is not usually followed by were
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace were with was
Sentence: It can be seen in the second graph that there were different pattern in citizen's alcohol consumption in Turkey, USA, and Netherland.
Description: The fragment different pattern in is not usually preceded by were
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace pattern with patterns
Sentence: Interestingly, proportion of cigarette user in USA, Japan, and Holland were decreased surprisingly almost 20 in four decades.
Description: The fragment , and Holland is not usually followed by were
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace were with was
people drank alcohol more than Eastern countries
people drank alcohol more than people in Eastern countries
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
Read a good grammar book.
No. of Words: 266 200
Write the essay in 20 minutes.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 10
No. of Words: 266 200
No. of Characters: 1362 1000
No. of Different Words: 126 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.039 4.0
Average Word Length: 5.12 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.519 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 106 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 84 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 48 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.462 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.83 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.538 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.396 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.614 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.09 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4