Write a letter to the shop and ask if they have the things you want or whether they will be able to order them. Ask what the prices are and how long they will be able to hold the goods for you.
Dear Sir,
To the PT. Electronic Center Shop,
With together this letter, I want to order some things from your shop. After your worker from your shop come my shop for promotion of new electronic product at last day, I feel interesting for buying some electronic instruments which sell by your shop. Thus this, I want to order:
1. Ten unit wash machines.
2. Ten unit televisions.
3. Ten unit laptops.
4. One set computer advance digital and speaker genus.
If your shop can fulfill my request, I will buy it from your shop. Besides, I want to ask your shop about the price of things and how long time your company will be able to hold the goods for me. For order, I will do it after I get your information. I will wait your answer after I send this latter.
I hope that your shop can send answer with fast and your shop can fulfill my request.
Thank you for your attention and cooperation.
Regards,
Fitry
Sentence: After your worker from your shop come my shop for promotion of new electronic product at last day, I feel interesting for buying some electronic instruments which sell by your shop.
Description: The fragment shop come my is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace come with verb, past tense
Sentence: 4.One set computer advance digital and speaker genus.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to advance and digital
flaws:
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 9
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 10
No. of Words: 168 200
No. of Characters: 707 1000
No. of Different Words: 99 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.6 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.208 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.22 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 34 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 25 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 13 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 10 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 12 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.018 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.286 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.394 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.642 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.193 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 4