You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.The take below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Essay topics:

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The take below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table demonstrates the underground railways systems of the following cities namely London, Paris, Tokyo, Washington DC, Kyoto and Los Angeles.

Let us take a closer look at the city of London. Its railways had opened in the year 1863, with a kilometers route of 394, and a 775 million of passengers per year. In 1900, Paris, started to operate its underground railways system with 199 kilometers of route and 1,191 million of commuters per annum. Moreover, in 1927, Tokyo followed having a 155 kilometers of route and 1,927 million travelers. Meanwhile, Washington DC had opened in 1976 having a travel distance of 126 kilometers and 144 million passengers in one year. Next was Kyoto, in 1981, with the least number of kilometers of route(11), and had a 45 millions of commuters per year. Lastly, Los Angeles opened in 2001 with a 28 kilometers of route and a 50 million travelers annually.

Looking more closely, the highest commuters per year was Tokyo with 1,927 million, that was followed by Paris with a total number of 1,191 million passengers per annum. However, the lowest percentage of travelers was in Kyoto with 45 million annually. In contrary, when speaking about kilometers of route. Although, London was the longest travel distance and the oldest, yet it was superseded by Paris in the total number of commuters.

In conclusion, commuters per year does not depend on how long the travel distance the train was traveling. It varies where the location was situated. Passengers do not pay attention whether the railway was constructed earlier or later. The latest year it was constructed the shorter the kilometers of route and the least number of commuters where accommodated per annum.

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Average: 6 (1 vote)

Comments

flaws:
1. Don't copy & paste words from essay topic, like: 'following cities namely London, Paris, Tokyo, Washington DC, Kyoto and Los Angeles.'

2. selecting and reporting the main features. don't list all info in the second paragraph

3. Don't need to make a comment in the last paragraph. just make comparisons where relevant.

read a sample:
http://testbig.com/ielts-writing-task-i-essays/table-below-gives-inform…

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 10
No. of Words: 283 200
No. of Characters: 1379 1000
No. of Different Words: 127 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.102 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.873 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.65 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 101 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 76 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 53 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.688 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.731 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.375 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.371 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.542 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.102 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4