The table below shows the monthly expenditure of an average Australian family in 1991 and 2001.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The statistic illustrates the monthly expense of an ordinary household in Australia over a decade period from 1991. Figures were measured in Australia Dollar ($).
Overall, the total expenditure of each family every month witnessed a marginal increase throughout the surveyed period, of which Australian spent the most of their money on non-necessary products and services but the least on clothing. Among six measured categories, only the expense of wearable and transportation dropped during the decade.
To be more specific, the sum cost spent by each family in Australia slightly increased from $675 to $715 between 1991 and 2001. The largest growth fall to the category of electricity and water, for which the expenditure went up from $75 to %120, representing a 60% growth. By comparison, food and housing both rose the smallest amount by $5, reaching %160 and $100 respectively in 2001. The spending of non-essential products and services also demonstrated a growth, rising from $250 to %270.
The two items that bucked the upward trend illustrated above were clothing and transport. The expense of eatable decreased by one-third from $30 to $20 over the decade. Similarly, transportation also declined its spending to $45 in 2001, with a reduction of about 35% when compared with the 1991 figure.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
1. Australian spent the most of their money on non-necessary products and services
Australians spent the most of their money on non-necessary products and services //what are 'non-necessary products and services'? should be exactly: 'non-essential goods and services'. They are greatly different. in task I, we don't need to paraphrase the categories.
same issues here:
only the expense of wearable and transportation
should be:
only the expense of clothing and transportation
2. from $75 to %120,
from $75 to $120,
reaching %160 and $100 respectively in 2001.
reaching $160 and $100 respectively in 2001.
3. you have issues on summary. the summary and body are somehow duplicated, look:
Overall, the total expenditure of each family every month witnessed a marginal increase throughout the surveyed period,
To be more specific, the sum cost spent by each family in Australia slightly increased from $675 to $715 between 1991 and 2001.
better summary:
In general, Australian household spending was high in 2001 than in 1991 but the difference was not significant (AUD $715 per month and AUD $675 per month respectively). Food and “other goods and services” were the two biggest items of expenditure. Altogether, they accounted for more than half of the total household spending. By comparison, Australians spent little on dressing up.
4. don't need math, like:
representing a 60% growth
with a reduction of about 35%
the examiners are poor at math. Just say numbers/percentages according to the graphs. or use simple math: like: double, triple, twice, half, one third... which are very obvious.
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read a sample and see the difference:
https://www.testbig.com/ielts-writing-task-i-ielts-academic-essays/tabl…
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 10
No. of Words: 208 200
No. of Characters: 1054 1000
No. of Different Words: 128 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.798 4.0
Average Word Length: 5.067 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.925 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 78 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 61 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 50 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 28 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.909 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.354 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.273 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.352 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.603 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.019 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 331, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...housing both rose the smallest amount by , reaching %160 and 00 respectively in 20...
^^
Line 4, column 90, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ated above were clothing and transport. The expense of eatable decreased by one-thi...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, similarly, so, third
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 3.0 7.0 43% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 0.0 1.00243902439 0% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 6.8 132% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 3.15609756098 127% => OK
Pronoun: 3.0 5.60731707317 54% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 33.7804878049 127% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 3.97073170732 76% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1081.0 965.302439024 112% => OK
No of words: 207.0 196.424390244 105% => OK
Chars per words: 5.22222222222 4.92477711251 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.79308509922 3.73543355544 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.00418273311 2.65546596893 113% => OK
Unique words: 131.0 106.607317073 123% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.632850241546 0.547539520022 116% => OK
syllable_count: 318.6 283.868780488 112% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.45097560976 103% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 1.53170731707 0% => OK
Article: 7.0 4.33902439024 161% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 1.07073170732 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 0.482926829268 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 3.36585365854 149% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 8.94146341463 123% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.4926829268 80% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 45.8819902009 43.030603864 107% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.2727272727 112.824112599 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.8181818182 22.9334400587 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.18181818182 5.23603664747 61% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 3.83414634146 104% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 1.69756097561 118% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 3.70975609756 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 1.13902439024 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.09268292683 147% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.123232011228 0.215688989381 57% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0395540328025 0.103423049105 38% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0409004282876 0.0843802449381 48% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0707112164362 0.15604864568 45% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.019524414456 0.0819641961636 24% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 13.2329268293 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 61.2550243902 101% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.51609756098 135% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.3012195122 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.0 11.4140731707 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.03 8.06136585366 112% => OK
difficult_words: 59.0 40.7170731707 145% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.4329268293 96% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.9970731707 84% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.0658536585 81% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.