The two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectorsin Canada in 2005 and 2010.

Essay topics:

The two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors
in Canada in 2005 and 2010.

The pie charts illustrate the four retail sectors in Canada in term of the proportion of their internet sales in 2 years, 2005 and 2010.

Overall, sales for electronics/ appliance and food/ beverage accounted most of the total sales in both years. In addition, while home furnishings and electronics/ appliance sectors experienced increases in online sales, there were decreases in the figures for the other two sectors.

In 2005, electronics and appliance was the highest proportion, accouting for 35% of the total sales. 25% was the figure for home furnishings, slightly higher than the sales of food and beverage, at 22%. The smallest proportion was the video games sales, which made up only 18%.

The next five years saw a dramatic increase in food and beverage sector, reaching 32% in 2010. The online sales of video games followed the same pattern, growing from 18% to 23%. The figures for electrics/ appliance and home furnishings were 30% and 15% respectively.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 129, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... sales in both years. In addition, while home furnishings and electronics/ applia...
^^
Line 7, column 96, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... beverage sector, reaching 32% in 2010. The online sales of video games followed th...
^^^
Line 7, column 180, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... same pattern, growing from 18% to 23%. The figures for electrics/ appliance and ho...
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
while, in addition

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 5.0 7.0 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 0.0 1.00243902439 0% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 6.8 118% => OK
Relative clauses : 1.0 3.15609756098 32% => OK
Pronoun: 1.0 5.60731707317 18% => OK
Preposition: 20.0 33.7804878049 59% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 8.0 3.97073170732 201% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 819.0 965.302439024 85% => OK
No of words: 159.0 196.424390244 81% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.15094339623 4.92477711251 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.55098862472 3.73543355544 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73239860489 2.65546596893 103% => OK
Unique words: 94.0 106.607317073 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.591194968553 0.547539520022 108% => OK
syllable_count: 238.5 283.868780488 84% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.45097560976 103% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 1.53170731707 0% => OK
Article: 5.0 4.33902439024 115% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.07073170732 93% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.482926829268 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 3.36585365854 89% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 9.0 8.94146341463 101% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.4926829268 76% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 28.8255716378 43.030603864 67% => OK
Chars per sentence: 91.0 112.824112599 81% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.6666666667 22.9334400587 77% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.0 5.23603664747 38% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 3.83414634146 104% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 1.69756097561 177% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 3.70975609756 81% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 1.13902439024 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.09268292683 147% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.24852421064 0.215688989381 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0984729814964 0.103423049105 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0860479260338 0.0843802449381 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.165842859635 0.15604864568 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0925838738804 0.0819641961636 113% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.7 13.2329268293 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 61.2550243902 102% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.51609756098 48% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.3012195122 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.29 11.4140731707 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.75 8.06136585366 109% => OK
difficult_words: 43.0 40.7170731707 106% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.4329268293 96% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.9970731707 80% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.0658536585 81% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.