You have seen an advertisement in an English newspaper for a job working in the City Museum shop during the holidays You decide to apply for the job Write a letter to the director of the Museum In your letter introduce yourself explain what experience and

Essay topics:

You have seen an advertisement in an English newspaper for a job working in the City Museum shop during the holidays.
You decide to apply for the job. Write a letter to the director of the Museum. In your letter:
• introduce yourself
• explain what experience and special skills you have
• explain why you are interested in the job

Submitted by RBH on Mon, 07/06/2015 - 11:40

Dear Sir,

After reading an advertisement in the newspaper, I came to know that there are some job opportunities in the City Museum shop. This is the reason, I am writing to you now as I am looking for a part time job during the summer holidays.

My complete name is Michael John and I have been studying in the final year of Engineering from Wilson College. Since my previous job involves checking of the accounts and keeping the records of the stocks. Moreover, to some extent my skills are matching with skills described in the job responsilities for this particular position.

There are multifarious reasons, why I am looking out for a job. Firstly, I need some additional income to pay my next semester tuition's fees. Secondly, as job would be a part time, rest of the time in a day I can concentrate on my academics; thus it will not have any adverse effects on my studies. Moreover, I think working for this job might give me an opportunity to interact with many customers; consequently this will improve my communication skills.

I would be grateful to you, if you consider me for this position. I look forward to hearing soon from you.

Yours faithfully,
Michael John

Votes
Average: 8 (8 votes)
Essay Categories
IELTS Writing Task I - IELTS Academic

Comments

there is some job opportunity
there are some job opportunities

Apparently, if I am not wrong advertisement also describe something similar on the job responsibilities.
Apparently, if I am not wrong, advertisements also describe something similar on the job responsibilities.

flaws:
what do you mean 'Apparently, if I am not wrong advertisement also describe something similar on the job responsibilities.'?

and 'Therefore, I am writing to you to inquire about the same'. what do you mean 'the same'?

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 10
No. of Words: 223 200
No. of Characters: 1012 1000
No. of Different Words: 132 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.864 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.538 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.856 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 66 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 58 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 37 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 20 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.929 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.138 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.643 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.37 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.678 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.165 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 4

6.5 out of 9

suggestions:
Need to explain more about what experience and special skills you have. This is not your skills: 'Moreover, to some extent my skills are matching with skills described in the job responsilities for this particular position. '

When you explain why you are interested in the job, you can't always say some personal reasons which are only good for yourselves. Need to say something good for the company, like:

1. my skills are matching with skills described in the job responsilities for this particular position.

2. I like this kind of job because i can apply my full knowledge to the job...

3. You may also say because it is a part time job too.