“Celebrities are usually famous for glamour and wealth rather than their achievements; some say talking them as an example can be dangerous for young people. To what extent you agree or disagree “
Celebrities are who work in entertainments, usually people called them as entertainer. Kinds of entertainment as a singer, actor or actress, host in ceremony, presenter, comedian etc. They work in production house that shadow them. Their existences can entertain many people who have watched them. And it is not denied if their existences also gave effect for society.
Famous, glamour, wealth, and sensational is the character that adhere with themselves. Every day you can watch in gossip, reality show or hear from radio. Everyone, every media talk about them. Who knows it about their life style, vacation, shopping, wealth or enmity between them. All along day are just reporting about them. Even their popularity defeated president popularity. But few of them that famous because their achievements, who knows it achievements inside entertainment or outside entertainment as their achievements in academic, or non academic. And some of society consider if they are bad example or as an example can be dangerous for young people. Why? Because some of them has bad life style, that followed by many young people.
And I very agree with society statements. You can see bad and good effect given by them. For example, they become popular idol and whatever they do, whatever they wear, young people or their follower will follow it. Some of follower just follow in order looked like their idol, without think first. Moreover, young people has characteristic unstable, added less education, knowledge and faith, it will make them easy to be affected. And they don’t care about the effect that showed after it. I think it will be good if they can show more their achievements than other. It Will be better because can be inspirations many people. They should realize if they be example for people in the world. And not important for us if they showed their wealth, because can’t make society to be rich. Just few of society can take the positive thing about it.
The condition will be better if celebrities can be good example for everybody. With their famous and loyal follower, they should be easier to invite people do something useful. And media also had big effect to make it be better. Media should can choose which one better be infotainment, and media must be able to balance information about their achievements inside or outside entertainment. And production house or agency of entertainment must priorities talent and other achievements of celebrities.
Celebrities are who work in entertainments
Celebrities are those who work in entertainments
They work in production house that shadow them
They work in production houses that shadow them
is the character that adhere with
is the character that adheres with
But few of them that famous because their achievements,
But few of them got famous because of their achievements,
Sentence: Kinds of entertainment as a singer, actor or actress, host in ceremony, presenter, comedian etc. They work in production house that shadow them.
Description: The fragment that shadow them is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace shadow with verb, past tense
Sentence: And some of society consider if they are bad example or as an example can be dangerous for young people.
Description: The fragment society consider if is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace consider with verb, past tense
Sentence: Some of follower just follow in order looked like their idol, without think first.
Description: A preposition is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to without and think
Sentence: Media should can choose which one better be infotainment, and media must be able to balance information about their achievements inside or outside entertainment.
Description: The word can is not usually used as a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to 'should can'
Sentence: And production house or agency of entertainment must priorities talent and other achievements of celebrities.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to must and priorities
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 9 2
Read a good grammar book.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 9 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 30 15
No. of Words: 406 350
No. of Characters: 1998 1500
No. of Different Words: 197 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.489 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.921 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.651 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 135 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 87 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 13.533 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.542 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.367 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.264 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.402 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.136 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5