In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this ascompletely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learningand taking responsibility.What are your opinions on this?

Essay topics:

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as
completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning
and taking responsibility.
What are your opinions on this?

In Indonesia, child workers are still the one of the big issues. Most people refuse paid work for children in Indonesia, only minority persons who support it for the name of education. However, I believe that working for children is useful as long as appropriate with their skill and age.

The cases that are happening now are caused the adults see child workers as usual employees in work quality. Whereas, children have small body and small strength if we compare to adults. Also, they still lack of experience in working. So, for all employers that want to employ children, they have to understand about this limitation.
However, today, private industries do not care about it. They concern in profit, they employ children from noon until night. The work will take their playing and study time. This really happens in my country, Indonesia. This work type never educates children at all.

But, this will be different if employer consider the children’s capability. They responsible to the consequence in having child workers-limitation in strength and experience. For example, when I was a child, I worked in a farm field. I work for 3 hours, from 1 pm to 4 pm, three days a week. The employer gave me the small jobs, such as, feeding animals, picking cucumber and watering vegetables. Even though I only got less money, but I felt so fun. Because, for the first time I was exist like adult, they treated me like responsible person not the spoiled child. They believed to me, this is the big deal for the children who usually needed attention from the adults. I learned a lot in saving money, because I knew how hard to earn money. I also learned that many people have harder life, because they have to work harder than me. After work time, I still have time to study and go to mosque with my friends.

Based on my experience above, I strongly believe that paid work is useful for children. This is because work educates children to be more sensitive in social and responsible. Those aspects shape children to be great leader in the future.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)

Comments

only minority persons who support it for the name of education
only minority persons support it for the name of education

as long as appropriate with their skill and age.
Description: what is the subject for this sentence?

The cases that are happening now are caused the adults see child workers as usual employees in work quality
The cases that are happening now are caused by the adults who see child workers as usual employees in work quality

They responsible to the consequence
They are responsible to the consequence

because work educates children to be more sensitive in social and responsible
because work educates children to be more sensitive in social and responsible aspects

Sentence: Because, for the first time I was exist like adult, they treated me like responsible person not the spoiled child.
Description: The token was is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to was and exist

flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 13.731 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 3.768 7.5
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2

Read a good grammar book.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 357 350
No. of Characters: 1631 1500
No. of Different Words: 190 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.347 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.569 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.454 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 106 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 80 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 47 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 25 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 13.731 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 3.768 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.538 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.279 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.429 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.07 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5