In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinions on this?
Presently, we are usually looking many children work on street. They do many jobs like sell foods, singing a song or just request money from driver. It is a famous phenomenon in many countries. For this happen, i think, it gives more cros for children such as mentality of children, responsibility, education and generation of country.
In development psychology area, children have gold term to decide personality in the future. It is about mentality. Many children hard to success in their life because an adult give wrong direction in children life. Because of money or economic condition, adult give more pressure to children to get much money. For citizenship, it is an affectionate to look children give hand and request money and saying give me money for eat on street. But, it make mental of children are lazy and easy. Children feel to get money no need work hard, just only stop car and request money with some words.
Secondly, education is important thing for children. The critical age of children need more knowledge and pertaining on an education institution. Many countries spend money for build school for children. Nowadays, children who have below 6 years old can learn about something like drawing, writing or singing a song in playground school. It is a facilitation to make an intelligent people for country.
The last, government will loss many generation of children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Because, children familiar with money and make children feel education is not important than money. The bad effect of money, children will growth and do not know about tolerate, social or helping each others. For example, parent need help for our children but children can not help before parent give money or children will not help grandmother or grandfather to cross the street because children not get money from them.
Adding to it, work gives more pros for children like children learn about responsibility, work experience and children will become an independent person in environment.
To sum up, government and parent or adult in environment have to same value and same target for development of children to become a person who has good personality, good knowledge and intelligent and kind person in society.
we are usually looking many children work on street.
we are usually looking many children who work on street.
For this happen
For this happening
In development psychology area
In developing psychological area
Many children hard to success in their life because an adult give wrong direction in children life.
Many children are hard to succeed in their life because an adult gives wrong direction in children life.
adult give more pressure
adult gives more pressure
it make mental of children are lazy and easy
Description: two verbs in one sentence
education is important thing for children
education is an important thing for children
Many countries spend money for build school for children
Many countries spend money for building school for children
government will loss many generation of children are engaged in some kind of paid work.
government will lose many generations of children who are engaged in some kind of paid work.
children familiar with money
children are familiar with money
children will growth and do not know about tolerate,
children will grow up and do not know about tolerance,
because children not get money from them.
because children do not get money from them.
have to same value and same target for development of children to become a person who has good personality
have same value and target for developing children to become a person who has good personality
social or helping each others.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to each and others
Sentence: For example, parent need help for our children but children can not help before parent give money or children will not help grandmother or grandfather to cross the street because children not get money from them.
Description: The fragment parent give money is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace give with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 15 2
Did you read a good grammar book?
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 9
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 15 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 372 350
No. of Characters: 1825 1500
No. of Different Words: 174 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.392 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.906 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.655 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 123 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 95 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 75 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.909 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.344 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.318 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.37 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.553 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.111 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5