In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the cause of these problems and what measures could be taken solve theme
In last decades, several surveys have been conducted to ascertain a real insight into the cause of increasing the average weight of people. Many people, myself included, believe that the several fundamental elements contribute to this phenomenon.
The world economic circumstance has exacerbated during last decades owing to severe recession. As consequences, the cost of life has increased considerably. Therefore, women, who are responsible for providing healthy food for the family's members, should work out of home to supplement family's income. Hence, due to a lack of time people usually eat at fast restaurants, which produce fatty and unhealthy food. Moreover, in modern life people do not possess adequate time to allocate to do exercise, so a lack of consideration on hygienic issues is another reason for having many over weight people in society. In addition, many companies that produce food, which have an adverse impact on people health, spend the enormous amount of money on advertisement to absorb people attention to boost up their sales.
Nonetheless, obesity is not a new phenomenon on human society, a few actions have been taken to tackle this problems. Many people, having radical perspective to this theme perceive that government should impose legislation to prohibit restaurants from serving unhealthy food. Furthermore, I think that governments should formulate new policies that school curriculum, comprised of more physical activity for diminishing a damaging consequence of obesity on children's health. Although, we cannot eradicate this problems completely, we can decline the number of people, who sustain obesity.
In conclusion, being over-weight has an adverse impact on people's life, and implicated in the several terminal diseases, such as heart attack. Thus, government should take severe actions to combat this problem.
I think that governments should formulate new policies that school curriculum, comprised of more physical activity for diminishing a damaging consequence of obesity on children's health
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
The world economic circumstance
The world's economic circumstance
Sentence: In addition, many companies that produce food, which have an adverse impact on people health, spend the enormous amount of money on advertisement to absorb people attention to boost up their sales.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to people and health
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to people and attention
Sentence: Nonetheless, obesity is not a new phenomenon on human society, a few actions have been taken to tackle this problems.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and problems
Sentence: Although, we cannot eradicate this problems completely, we can decline the number of people, who sustain obesity.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and problems
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 283 350
No. of Characters: 1536 1500
No. of Different Words: 175 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.102 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.428 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.839 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 135 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 97 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 67 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.214 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.183 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.332 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.544 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.065 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5