In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
That makes a sense, when everyone believe that go to work or go travel is better for the youth than just end their time on the desk and chair inside their school building. Admittedly, the youth can reach so many kinds of experiences by go out from the school, see a lot of things around the world when they go to travel and feel the hardest part that he/she will face in the future as a mature to earn money for living by trying to take a job earlier.
In the other hand, those two kinds of activities sometimes can bring the youth too far leaving their important moment to study behind. It might be happen when the youth is too far involved with the kind of activity and then forget that they still have to continue their study. Taking a job for example, it is often happen, when the youth has enjoyed the job they got, got the nice salary he never expected before; he/she would choose to keep upgrade their position on the workplace than back to school that might stop their career. Now, he/she has turned to be so lazy to go back to school, forgetting that maybe latter the workplace could fire him/her, whereas is not easy for him/her to get another job with his/her low education.
In sum, we can conclude that youth is a crucial moment for everyone’s life. Every big goal everyone can reach in the future is depends on what he/she chose in this moment. Therefore, everyone is suggested to figure out what he/she will do in those ages, whether want to get so many kinds of live experiences such as go to work and go travel or manage their limit time to finish high school then go to university. Nothing is worse than others; youth just need to find what the best thing that is appropriate to them. Parents and every older man around those guys—youth—are the most important figure that can supervise and help them to find what they really need. Therefore, as a mature they should not just warn them, limit their step by giving so many prohibitions, but rather have to be open minded, always try to make a warm discussion, and support every choice they make.
Sentence: That makes a sense, when everyone believe that go to work or go travel is better for the youth than just end their time on the desk and chair inside their school building.
Description: The fragment everyone believe that is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace believe with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Sentence: Admittedly, the youth can reach so many kinds of experiences by go out from the school,
Description: A preposition is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to by and go
whereas is not easy for him/her to get another job with his/her low education.
whereas it is not easy for him/her to get another job with his/her low education.
Sentence: Every big goal everyone can reach in the future is depends on what he/she chose in this moment.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to is and depends
Sentence: Therefore, everyone is suggested to figure out what he/she will do in those ages, whether want to get so many kinds of live experiences such as go to work and go travel or manage their limit time to finish high school then go to university.
Description: A conjunction, subordinating is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to whether and want
Description: A conjunction, subordinating is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to as and go
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5
better to have 4-5 paragraphs:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1
para 3: reason 2
para 4: reason 3 (optional)
para 5: conclusion
or:
para 1: introduction
para 2: idea one.
para 3: however, idea two
para 4: in my opinion...
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 389 350
No. of Characters: 1639 1500
No. of Different Words: 194 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.441 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.213 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.057 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 90 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 45 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 30 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 20 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 32.417 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.744 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.583 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.38 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.544 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.284 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5