Some People think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time.
Discuss both view and give your opinion.
Today, lifestyle has been changed as, everyone seems to be busy in their hectic routine life. Therefore everybody needs some free-time so, they may feel relax. Hence, some people are of the opinion that it is imperative to use free-time for numerous healthy activities, for example, reading informative books and doing word puzzles. While others deem that it would be far better to rest their mind rather to involve in some activities. Before jumping into conclusion, I would like to discuss both views first in this essay.
A group of people have a point of view that it is significant to rest their mind during spare time. As, many people have stressful jobs consequently, they preferred to take some rest. For example, bankers have lengthy working hours then, they like to watch TV programs, movies and have hangouts with friends. Such entertainment activities may relief their boredom.
On the other hand, there is another school of thought that life is a learning process so, free time ought to be utilized to learn something meaningful. They tenet, life's success is rated upon time utilization. For instance, some people are keen to grab knowledge through numerous resources to keep themselves update as, to be at top in this competent world.
Furthermore, if people do not use their time in correct manner, they might lose their position. There is a well-known saying, "time is always right, to do what is right." This discussion leads me to conclude that spare time should be utilized purposely. Therefore, this would keeps a person's mind healthy and IQ level may raises up day-by-day. Resultant, an intelligent person may excel himself in front of potential employers. Hence, go to the extra miles may lead a person to successful journey.
Sentence: Such entertainment activities may relief their boredom.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to may and relief
They tenet, life's success is rated upon time utilization.
Definitions of tenet
noun
a principle or belief, especially one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy.
"the tenets of classical liberalism"
synonyms: principle, belief, doctrine, precept, creed, credo, article of faith, axiom, dogma, canon, theory, thesis, premise, conviction, idea, view, opinion, position, ideology, code of belief, teaching(s)
Sentence: Therefore, this would keeps a person's mind healthy and IQ level may raises up day-by-day.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to would and keeps
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to may and raises
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 291 350
No. of Characters: 1412 1500
No. of Different Words: 184 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.13 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.852 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.525 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 94 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 71 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 46 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.167 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.669 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.722 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.294 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.492 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.065 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5