Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.
Since we were born, to do something, we need help from other people at least from our parents. we had known about getting and gving help from other people since we were young. A human being could not live alone or being individual. Assistance from other people means that people who help us at least having social behaviour beside the responsibilty. Except or not, every human being has social personality eventhough the size is different for each people. Being socialize in positive ways (it means not giving loss to ourself and other people) make ourself evolve and growing up to be better. It is because from social life there giving and accepting activity that make us can fulfill to each other. In addition, socializing make people can share happiness and pains that so difficult or impossible if handle it alone. Nowdays successful person are known from what is their contribution to other people, indeed to the society. So, for the first we have to be accepted in our society. To make our existance are accepted at least by the society where we live, we have to be a good member in the society. Learning how to be a good member in society may come from our family with our parents who teach their children. In the other side, there percepstion to give all responsible of it to the school. This essay would like to describes who should be responsible to the children about this obligation.
The first society we lived is family. Here we learnt about how to live with other people. We live with other member of family. We learn how to realize about other people existence. After that we learn about how to be tolerance to other member of family. This can be seen in big family that have many children which the parents should divide their careness to all of the children. Here, the parents have big role to teach the children how to be fair when their treat the children like giving reasonable rewards and punishment. Teaching the children how to respect of other member of family. Helping each other and so on.
In the same time, when the children age is appropriate, the parents made them get into school which is new society. At school, the society is bigger than the family and have various of member with different background. Different amount of people and background make the children learn to be more tolerance, children will be trained to be more socialize. The social skill of the children will be more chalenged. They will meet peer group which have the same age, so they could know what the people in their age look like. They will meet the people that do not like them and they will be trained to be more strong and independent to face problem.
Overall, based on the explanation above, we can conclude that Family or parents and school, both of them are important to educate children to be more socialize. We can not say that the one is more responsible than other one because each of them have their own role. The children is better to have both so it can made the children ready and good as member of society.
In addition, socializing make people can share happiness and pains that so difficult or impossible if handle it alone.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
Sentence: It is because from social life there giving and accepting activity that make us can fulfill to each other.
Description: The fragment that make us is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace make with verb, past tense
Sentence: In the other side, there percepstion to give all responsible of it to the school.
Description: what is the verb for this sentence?
Sentence: Teaching the children how to respect of other member of family.
Description: what is the verb for this sentence?
Sentence: In the same time, when the children age is appropriate, the parents made them get into school which is new society.
Description: two verbs in one sentence
Sentence: The children is better to have both so it can made the children ready and good as member of society.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to can and made
Sentence: Since we were born, to do something, we need help from other people at least from our parents. we had known about getting and gving help from other people since we were young.
Error: gving Suggestion: going
Sentence: Assistance from other people means that people who help us at least having social behaviour beside the responsibilty.
Error: responsibilty Suggestion: responsibility
Error: behaviour Suggestion: behavior
Sentence: Except or not, every human being has social personality eventhough the size is different for each people.
Error: eventhough Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: To make our existance are accepted at least by the society where we live, we have to be a good member in the society.
Error: existance Suggestion: existence
Sentence: In the other side, there percepstion to give all responsible of it to the school.
Error: percepstion Suggestion: perception
Sentence: This can be seen in big family that have many children which the parents should divide their careness to all of the children.
Error: careness Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: The social skill of the children will be more chalenged.
Error: chalenged Suggestion: challenged
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
Don't develop your ideas from the introduction paragraph.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 31 15
No. of Words: 541 350
No. of Characters: 2436 1500
No. of Different Words: 204 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.823 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.503 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.274 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 150 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 95 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.452 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.525 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.323 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.324 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.463 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.234 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5