" success means the desire was strong enough". To what extend do you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer?

Essay topics:

" success means the desire was strong enough". To what extend do you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer?

Submitted by Justin on Sun, 11/09/2014 - 03:22

Human aspiration to be at the zenith of success is sky rocketing in this modern world. Presently, given statement claims that less strong desire is supposed to be responsible factor behind failure. Undeniably, desire is one of the great moving force to lead someone to his destiny. However, some other factors are more cosiderable for success. Here, I would like to discord with given statement.

There are manifold points to endorse my point of view. First and foremost, perfect planning to achieve target, hard work with positive attitude are most significant to accomplish success. For instance,...

*** The full content of this essay is available to VIP readers

Subscribe as testbig VIP readers and get unlimited access to essays on the top list.

Votes
Average: 8 (2 votes)
Essay Categories
IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS Academic

Comments

less strong desire is supposed to be responsible factor behind failure
less strong desire is supposed to be the responsible factor behind failure

one of the great moving force
one of the great moving forces

Sentence: However, some other factors are more cosiderable for success.
Error: cosiderable Suggestion: considerable

Sentence: Consequently, in the absence of above factors, strong desire only is inadequete for breakthrough.
Error: inadequete Suggestion: inadequate

Sentence: To recapitulate, undeniably, vibrant desire makes someone to do everthing for his aim.
Error: everthing Suggestion: everything

Sentence: However, I still believe hard work, talent, positivity and dedication explode your abilty to turn impossible to possible better than only desire.
Error: abilty Suggestion: ability

flaws:
The essay is not exactly right on the topic. You are writing another topic: 'success means the desire was strong enough', it is not equal to "Failure is proof that the desire was not strong enough"

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? out of 9
Category: ? Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 333 350
No. of Characters: 1711 1500
No. of Different Words: 204 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.272 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.138 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.664 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 140 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 105 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 66 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.65 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.79 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.278 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.508 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.041 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5

sir I have read link advided by u ....in that essay .. .i found writer has agreed that desire is important so he favored with gud justifications ....

but I disgree ... so I wrote other factors are more important to be successful than desire n justified tht how other factors lead us to success n made 2 paras for that

I m still not being convinced ....plzzz tell me where I m wrong in my own essay n what ideas should I replace n why ????

Well, if the topic is: 'success means the desire was strong enough', your essay has no any problem. However, the topic is: "Failure is proof that the desire was not strong enough". so you need to talk about 'Failure' instead of 'success'.

Think about an example, suppose someone has all good qualities: strong desire, perfect planning to achieve target, hard work with positive attitude, dedication towards work and goal oriented approach, still this person got failure to win a lottery or run a business. Why? You can write the essay in this point of view.

ohhhhhh yeh .... I was also thinking the same bt not convincingly ... tnxxxx sir for grt support and advice ...i will rewrite if you delete my this esaay from my account ...is it possible ????

sir I have changed the statement ... adviced by you ... so plzzz check it once again n give me deserving score ..i dont want to let it waste ...plz