Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The relative importance of success sports professionals and other important professionals is a frequent topic for discussion when people try to explain who is expected to earn a higher income concerning on their dedication. However, both views need to be examined before commenting on a final decision. My inclination is argued further.

In order to earn a great deal more money, a man should pay an important role in this society ad make a great contribution to this world. Only these two requirements satisfied ca a man is fully justified to deserve a higher income. Some people claim that successful sports professionals meet the two factors. They prove that a famous sports professional ca stimulate sports motivation of this country which will lead to a better health condition of civilians and leaves less harmful disease in the environment. According to a recent study conducted by Chinese Health Organization in 2008, Liu Xiang, who won the running race in 2004 Olympic Games and as the first Asian who obtained this award, when his success is second to none, China has witnessed a huge increase in the population of Chinese youth who had a great passion in the field of running and the overall healthiness boomed significantly in the next 4 years. No one can deny the truth behind these numbers. There is no denying that successful sports professionals indeed promote the sports enthusiastic in commonwealth.

However, it’s an incomplete part of the picture. Another view was pointed out in a reverse direction. Even though sports professionals play such a staple role, they don't make a greater contribution than the other important professionals, such as scientists who invented Nuclear Technology. The benefits that Nuclear Technology has offered pertain to the most nagging issues of recent human history- namely pollution and world peace. Were it to be developed to the extent that it safely replaced petroleum, not only will it solve the energy crisis but consequently bring down the instability and violence of Middle East as well. Compared with sports professionals, the scholars who devoted to the success of Nuclear Technology contributed more to the world, who is expected to get a higher income.

Due to the above mentioned reasons, I admit that successful sports professionals do play a vital role in the society, whose social outcome is obvious and will reach widespread impacts. However, other important professionals, they are all key factors that should never been ignored adding to the glorious future. Most importantly, despite the fact that their benefits will not show up in the beginning, it will make a big difference in the long run. Therefore, the other important professionals who really satisfied the two requirements can also enjoy a greater amount of money as sports professionals.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (4 votes)

ca a man is fully justified to deserve a higher income
can man be fully justified to deserve a higher income

Sentence: Only these two requirements satisfied ca a man is fully justified to deserve a higher income.
Error: ca Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: They prove that a famous sports professional ca stimulate sports motivation of this country which will lead to a better health condition of civilians and leaves less harmful disease in the environment.
Error: ca Suggestion: No alternate word

flaws:
Always need to focus on the topic:
1. In the first example, did the guy earn huge money than other professionals?

2. In the second example, you need to compare the income instead of their contributions.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 458 350
No. of Characters: 2319 1500
No. of Different Words: 256 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.626 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.063 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.93 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 174 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 127 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 65 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.9 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.405 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.35 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.289 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.454 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.032 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5