Topic: some say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.
Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Health is the important part of our life. And several people think the health is more needed than wealth. Because we can’t find it easily. Honestly, to become healthy people is bit easy. One of the way is doing some sports. And certain commoners feeling lazy to doing sports. So the public health have decreasing now. Some people think to improve the public health is by increasing the sport facilities. Others says that to enhance this, is by adding the other measures.
Actually, the improvement of sport facilities must have good purpose. Like to provide the people the facilities of sport so the people not being lazy anymore to do some sports. And they will motivate to doing sports because the government already provide them the sports facilities. But, these regulation need much money to realize that. And the money is from the national fund. So it will make the output of the fund is become bigger. And it will burden the nation to develop the other needs.
And the other is make some sports event. These programs will motivate the people for following that program. Because of the program organizer is plan to give the winner prize or give some doorprize. So it will make the people interest to doing sports increased. And the fund is from the registration money for each participants. So it will diminish the output of the nation.
Based on information above, I prefer to choose my opinion to make some sports program than increasing the number of sports facilities. Because it more effective to make the public health increased.
One of the way is doing some sports
One of the ways is doing some sports
And certain commoners feeling lazy to doing sports
And certain commoners feel lazy to doing sports
Sentence: Others says that to enhance this, is by adding the other measures.
Description: The fragment Others says that is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace says with verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Sentence: But, these regulation need much money to realize that.
Description: The fragment regulation need much is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace need with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Sentence: And it will burden the nation to develop the other needs.
Description: The word burden is not usually used as a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to burden
Sentence: And the other is make some sports event.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to is and make
Sentence: So it will make the people interest to doing sports increased.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to people and interest
Sentence: And the fund is from the registration money for each participants.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to each and participants
Sentence: Because of the program organizer is plan to give the winner prize or give some doorprize.
Error: doorprize Suggestion: door prize
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
Read a good grammar book.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 9
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 265 350
No. of Characters: 1245 1500
No. of Different Words: 123 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.035 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.698 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.331 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 94 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 52 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 31 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 22 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 11.042 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 3.921 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.333 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.294 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.434 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.087 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5