Nowadays celebreties are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievment,and this sets a bad example to young people.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is incorrectly idea that several celebrities are known for their lifestyle and wealth rather than goals that they can achieve with own gifted skills. I completely agree with this statement that such kind of celebrities might damage youngster's mind.
Ont the one hand, there are many famous people that reached their achievements with the help of rich parents or another sponsors that can support them anywhere by the validity of wealth and money. I know some actor and actresses who became known person with others help as they do not have own skills in this field. They just want to be famous in the country but not to be real talented person. And most teenagers usually try to imitate them in sphere of fashion or trend. Such a person who boasts with her or his glamour and
wealth often may be harmfull for our tradition and culture.
On the other hand, we can find a large number of gifted people that can demonstrate their abilities at the big stages as well anytime without the influence of wealth. Actors,musicians and sports stars can become famous since they always work hard and try to develop their talents and skills. I can give an example that is the actor and dancer Michael Jackson who was very famous in the world last century . He practised a lot to educe own skills and worked harsh to be known person. Like self-made celebrity can awake children easily. So since that time the majority of teenagers have been resemble to Michael Jackson especially his work and dance.
To conclude, in my opinion people who want to be famous or idol in any fields should try to gain goals with gifted abilities as much they can. In addition, they might not damage children's horizen with wealth or glamour lifestyle.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 6, column 32, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...ture. On the other hand, we can find a large number of gifted people that can demonstrate thei...
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Line 6, column 174, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , musicians
... without the influence of wealth. Actors,musicians and sports stars can become famous sinc...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 314, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...alents and skills. I can give an example that is the actor and dancer Michael Jac...
^^
Line 6, column 406, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...as very famous in the world last century . He practised a lot to educe own skills ...
^^
Line 6, column 592, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'resembled'.
Suggestion: resembled
...ime the majority of teenagers have been resemble to Michael Jackson especially his work ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 13, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...lly his work and dance. To conclude, in my opinion people who want to be famo...
^^
Line 8, column 157, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...abilities as much they can. In addition, they might not damage childrens horizen ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, if, may, so, well, in addition, kind of, in my opinion, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 13.1623246493 84% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 7.85571142285 153% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 10.4138276553 173% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 7.30460921844 164% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 24.0651302605 137% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 38.0 41.998997996 90% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.3376753507 48% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1428.0 1615.20841683 88% => OK
No of words: 302.0 315.596192385 96% => OK
Chars per words: 4.72847682119 5.12529762239 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.1687104957 4.20363070211 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.37098337325 2.80592935109 84% => OK
Unique words: 172.0 176.041082164 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.569536423841 0.561755894193 101% => OK
syllable_count: 432.9 506.74238477 85% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.60771543086 87% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 5.43587174349 147% => OK
Article: 0.0 2.52805611222 0% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.10420841683 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 16.0721442886 93% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.2975951904 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 37.3901947931 49.4020404114 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 95.2 106.682146367 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.1333333333 20.7667163134 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.2 7.06120827912 74% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.38176352705 114% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.01903807615 139% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.67935871743 115% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.9879759519 50% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.4128256513 88% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.225772673658 0.244688304435 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0720469992489 0.084324248473 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0598416824158 0.0667982634062 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.13562929162 0.151304729494 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0621090171644 0.056905535591 109% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.9 13.0946893788 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 50.2224549098 136% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 11.3001002004 77% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.15 12.4159519038 82% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.56 8.58950901804 88% => OK
difficult_words: 56.0 78.4519038076 71% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 9.78957915832 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.1190380762 99% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.7795591182 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 56.1797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.