One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing.
Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
With the development of medicine, people are able to fight with illnesses such as cancer. It is no doubt that elders compared to 50 years ago are healthier and able to live longer. However, since life expectancy has been increased, some of the people indicate that there is no benefit to either society or the environment.
Compared to 50 years ago, nowadays elders are able to live longer, thanks to the improvement of hospitality. Nevertheless, elders are not young anymore, and live without income. Most of them rely on the government’s perks or insurance. In the long run, if elders live longer, it will become a burden to government and society. Moreover, after the population boom, the environment has reached to its limit due to human activities. That is to say, the longer people live, the more human activities and consumption will cause. The more we cause, the more damage will cause to the environment.
Though people are living longer, and it seems not beneficial to both earth and society, I do not believe it is the only conclusion for improved medical care. In fact, recent years people’s awareness of health care and eating healthier have been emphasized. Not only youngsters, elders are also encouraged to exercise more, eat wiser. Also, some of the states have extended the standard of retirement. For example, Japan is one of the countries with a long life expectancy. The government extended its retirement age to 65 years old and even longer. Instead of retiring and do nothing at home, more businessmen in Japan tend to work longer since they are still energetic.
In conclusion, since people are living longer, we can pay more effort to explore new chances to open a new second life instead of being a burden, the advantage seems overshadowed by disadvantage.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
With the development of medicine, people...
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Line 1, column 241, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...nce life expectancy has been increased, some of the people indicate that there is no benefi...
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Line 9, column 347, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...aged to exercise more, eat wiser. Also, some of the states have extended the standard of re...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, however, if, moreover, nevertheless, second, so, still, for example, in conclusion, in fact, no doubt, such as, that is to say
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 13.1623246493 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 7.85571142285 51% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 10.4138276553 106% => OK
Relative clauses : 3.0 7.30460921844 41% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 14.0 24.0651302605 58% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 41.998997996 102% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.3376753507 156% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1513.0 1615.20841683 94% => OK
No of words: 301.0 315.596192385 95% => OK
Chars per words: 5.02657807309 5.12529762239 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.16525528304 4.20363070211 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.86179409707 2.80592935109 102% => OK
Unique words: 167.0 176.041082164 95% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.554817275748 0.561755894193 99% => OK
syllable_count: 487.8 506.74238477 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 5.43587174349 92% => OK
Article: 7.0 2.52805611222 277% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 5.0 2.10420841683 238% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 0.809619238477 247% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 8.0 4.76152304609 168% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 16.0721442886 112% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.2975951904 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 34.7134655625 49.4020404114 70% => OK
Chars per sentence: 84.0555555556 106.682146367 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.7222222222 20.7667163134 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.33333333333 7.06120827912 104% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.01903807615 60% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.67935871743 81% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.9879759519 125% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 3.4128256513 176% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.24361231687 0.244688304435 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0687255612102 0.084324248473 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0605430560767 0.0667982634062 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.142638861825 0.151304729494 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0267686852522 0.056905535591 47% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.6 13.0946893788 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 50.2224549098 110% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 11.3001002004 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.6 12.4159519038 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.36 8.58950901804 97% => OK
difficult_words: 75.0 78.4519038076 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 9.78957915832 72% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.1190380762 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 67.4157303371 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.