In the past, sporting champions used to be motivated primarily by the desire to win a match or to break world records. These days, they are more likely to be motivated by prize money and the opportunity to be famous.
What message does this send to young people and how des this attitude to sport affect the sports themselves?
Give reasons for your answers.
the Olympic game and others sports games become a place that various athletes could express their ability. However, at present, the sportsman's motivation differs from the past. In the past, they joined a game with the spirit of win and to break the limit. Contrarily, nowadays, they sign in exhibition only to seek popularity and money. Those shifting prospect may bring a notation to youngsters that becoming an athlete resembles others jobs, and excludes the passion of sport. Then, once a sport is illustrated as a job, an athlete may perform well according to how much the prize that they can get.
The writer notices that money oriented occurs on sportsmen deludes the expectation of young supporters. They expect sports players to play a pure performance. When athletes can be persuaded by money they will not play supportively. In another word, they may not kick a score because that is what they paid for. As a result, they cheat the loyalty of fans.
From those attitudes, unfair game corrupts the sports exhibition and may be regarded as a red rapport from sports watchers. The authoritative sports organisation, FIFA, has already banned Indonesia football for joining Asian sports championship. This penalty was given to Indonesia due to sports organisation had played money instead of real sports. As a result, Indonesia football always became runner-up in Asian football game.
Above all, the writer may conclude that money oriented makes the sports exhibition worse. The players cannot play truthfully because they intended to play not to win. As a result, the supporters may not trust their lovely athlete.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
the Olympic game and others sports games be...
^^^
Line 2, column 159, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “When” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...rts players to play a pure performance. When athletes can be persuaded by money they...
^^^^
Line 3, column 48, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'sports'' or 'sport's'?
Suggestion: sports'; sport's
...ose attitudes, unfair game corrupts the sports exhibition and may be regarded as a red...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 142, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'sports'' or 'sport's'?
Suggestion: sports'; sport's
...from sports watchers. The authoritative sports organisation, FIFA, has already banned ...
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 66, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'sports'' or 'sport's'?
Suggestion: sports'; sport's
... conclude that money oriented makes the sports exhibition worse. The players cannot pl...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
however, if, may, then, well, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 5.0 13.1623246493 38% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 7.85571142285 140% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 10.4138276553 48% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 7.30460921844 96% => OK
Pronoun: 20.0 24.0651302605 83% => OK
Preposition: 29.0 41.998997996 69% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.3376753507 108% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1362.0 1615.20841683 84% => OK
No of words: 265.0 315.596192385 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.13962264151 5.12529762239 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.03470204552 4.20363070211 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67047194973 2.80592935109 95% => OK
Unique words: 156.0 176.041082164 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.588679245283 0.561755894193 105% => OK
syllable_count: 409.5 506.74238477 81% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 5.43587174349 129% => OK
Interrogative: 1.0 0.384769539078 260% => OK
Article: 8.0 2.52805611222 316% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 4.0 2.10420841683 190% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 16.0721442886 112% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 20.2975951904 69% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 25.6698530971 49.4020404114 52% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 75.6666666667 106.682146367 71% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.7222222222 20.7667163134 71% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.27777777778 7.06120827912 32% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.01903807615 100% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.67935871743 104% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.9879759519 176% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.190972668684 0.244688304435 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0598514237811 0.084324248473 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0381395911444 0.0667982634062 57% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.110622508164 0.151304729494 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0354548962537 0.056905535591 62% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.1 13.0946893788 77% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 65.73 50.2224549098 131% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.6 11.3001002004 67% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.94 12.4159519038 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.26 8.58950901804 96% => OK
difficult_words: 66.0 78.4519038076 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 9.78957915832 87% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.6 10.1190380762 75% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.7795591182 74% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 61.797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.