Subjects such as art, sport and music are being dropped out of the school curriculum for subjects such as information technology. Many children suffer as a result of these changes. To what extend do you agree or reject the idea of moving these subjects fr

Essay topics:

Subjects such as art, sport and music are being dropped out of the school curriculum for subjects such as information technology. Many children suffer as a result of these changes. To what extend do you agree or reject the idea of moving these subjects from the school curriculum.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

Some people are of the view that, most children would suffer as subject such as art, music and sport are withdrawn from the school curriculum for information technology. However, others are of an opposite view.

To begin, information technology offers a platform to extend skills such as art. It does so in a sophisticated manner. For instance, there are softwares such as corel draw in the computer. This softwares offers avenues to develop artistic skills in a modern account. The work is normally error free as it is done through a computer.

In addition, musical abilities can also be cultivated by the use of a computer. For example, softwares are available which creates musical beats as well recording voices of singers. This recordings and musical beats, can therefore be edited time and again to produce quality songs. Thus, it is not worth doubting that information technology should replace subjects such as art and music in school.

On the other hand, information technology does not improve physical fitness which is vital in sports. This is so because one would just be sited before the computer, hence laziness being promoted. Consequently, killing the stamina needed in sporting activities. Evenmore, traditional art and musical skills are bound to extinct. Original drawing by a pencil and paper would be no more as drawing is done by a computer. The same goes for original musical voice .It would be edited to produce perfection by a computer.

In conclusion, whether subjects such as art, music, and sport should be dropped for information technology has caused a spirited debated amongst individuals. However, I assert for both art, sport, and music, and information technology to be incorporated at the same level in the school curriculum.

Votes
Average: 6.7 (1 vote)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 93, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a sophisticated manner" with adverb for "sophisticated"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...o extend skills such as art. It does so in a sophisticated manner. For instance, there are softwares such...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 190, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: These
...res such as corel draw in the computer. This softwares offers avenues to develop art...
^^^^
Line 3, column 205, Rule ID: AGREEMENT_SENT_START[1]
Message: You should probably use 'offer'.
Suggestion: offer
...el draw in the computer. This softwares offers avenues to develop artistic skills in a...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 183, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: These
...ts as well recording voices of singers. This recordings and musical beats, can there...
^^^^
Line 7, column 272, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...needed in sporting activities. Evenmore, traditional art and musical skills are b...
^^^
Line 7, column 388, Rule ID: COMP_THAN[1]
Message: Comparison requires 'than', not 'then' nor 'as'.
Suggestion: than
... by a pencil and paper would be no more as drawing is done by a computer. The same...
^^
Line 7, column 462, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...The same goes for original musical voice .It would be edited to produce perfection...
^^
Line 7, column 464, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: It
...e same goes for original musical voice .It would be edited to produce perfection b...
^^

Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'consequently', 'hence', 'however', 'so', 'therefore', 'thus', 'well', 'for example', 'for instance', 'in addition', 'in conclusion', 'such as', 'on the other hand']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.257668711656 0.247107183377 104% => OK
Verbs: 0.168711656442 0.155533422707 108% => OK
Adjectives: 0.101226993865 0.0946595960268 107% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0521472392638 0.0501214627716 104% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0122699386503 0.0437548338989 28% => Some pronouns wanted.
Prepositions: 0.11963190184 0.122226691241 98% => OK
Participles: 0.0552147239264 0.0403226058552 137% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.83502957805 2.80594681477 101% => OK
Infinitives: 0.021472392638 0.0326793684256 66% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.00163938923432 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.0828220858896 0.0861772015684 96% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0245398773006 0.021408717616 115% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.00613496932515 0.011925033212 51% => OK

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 1776.0 1933.35771543 92% => OK
No of words: 287.0 316.048096192 91% => OK
Chars per words: 6.1881533101 6.12580529183 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.11595363751 4.20517956788 98% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.411149825784 0.374742101984 110% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.313588850174 0.28420135186 110% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.216027874564 0.203846283523 106% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.146341463415 0.137316102897 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.83502957805 2.80594681477 101% => OK
Unique words: 158.0 176.037074148 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.550522648084 0.56093040696 98% => OK
Word variations: 56.4437550432 60.7387585426 93% => OK
How many sentences: 19.0 16.0891783567 118% => OK
Sentence length: 15.1052631579 20.7743622355 73% => OK
Sentence length SD: 34.5084196238 49.517814964 70% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.4736842105 127.492653851 73% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.1052631579 20.7743622355 73% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.736842105263 0.814263465372 90% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.38877755511 114% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 3.99599198397 200% => Correct essay format wanted or double check grammar & spelling issues after essay writing.
Readability: 46.4641481753 49.1944974215 94% => OK
Elegance: 1.85526315789 1.69124875643 110% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.390643789021 0.332605444948 117% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.0901776998561 0.102741220458 88% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0872735067592 0.0668466124924 131% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.490185396075 0.534860350844 92% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.160857906618 0.148594505496 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.131375753765 0.134430193775 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.108404702353 0.0742795772207 146% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.248383973548 0.324371583561 77% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0505540672848 0.0638462369009 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.265493178869 0.228012699653 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0951373592832 0.058150111329 164% => OK

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.68436873747 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.9879759519 50% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 3.41683366733 176% => OK
Positive topic words: 10.0 5.90881763527 169% => OK
Negative topic words: 2.0 2.5751503006 78% => OK
Neutral topic words: 3.0 1.9629258517 153% => OK
Total topic words: 15.0 10.4468937876 144% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Rates: 67.4157303371 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.0 Out of 9
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.