The number of old people around the world is increasing dramatically Could this have more positive or negative effects on society or Do the advantages of the trend outweigh the disadvantages or Is this a positive development

Essay topics:

The number of old people around the world is increasing dramatically.
Could this have more positive or negative effects on society? or…
Do the advantages of the trend outweigh the disadvantages? or…
Is this a positive development?

The rapid development of technology has prolonged people's life than ever before, leading to the discussion about the effects on society coming from these ageing populations. Some peoples, especially working adults, keep a negative attitude toward these elderly while others believe that they can influence our society in beneficial way. Whilst both sides do have compelling arguments, I believe that the advantages is outweighed the disadvantages.

Undoubtedly, these old peoples are not appealing to society in term of financial point of view. Generally speaking, healthcare, accommodation and transportation are the major concern among the elderly. All of these will exaggerate the financial pressure on society as government has to allocate extra budget to cater their needs and extra tax will be inevitably added on the young working adults. This also reveal why the working adults are not fond of this change.

However, contrary to extra burden added on the society, this ageing group can practically give back to it. Deliberately thinking back why the old people is increasing, it is because the elderly is healthier than in the past and are able to continue their work after retirement age. Like the case in Hong Kong, the retirement age has long been postponed from 60 to 65, thus allowing this working group to continue generating revenue to the city.

In traditional Chinese society, there is a adage saying that the elderly is a treasure to the family. The visceral understand of this proverb is that we should cherish our elderly and their knowledgeable experience is extremely useful to all of us. Government and school should work with local community and invite them to share their experience to our young generation so as to keep their knowledge into our offspring.

Admittedly, the elderly indeed have some side effect on society. However, their positive side can certainly compensate or even more their negative side. Personally speaking, our elderly contribute their life to create the society we currently have. Hence, this is our responsibility and obligation to take care of them.

Votes
Average: 7.1 (3 votes)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 42, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...n traditional Chinese society, there is a adage saying that the elderly is a trea...
^
Line 7, column 371, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
...heir experience to our young generation so as to keep their knowledge into our offspring...
^^^^^^^^

Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'hence', 'however', 'if', 'so', 'thus', 'while', 'as to']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.22102425876 0.247107183377 89% => OK
Verbs: 0.169811320755 0.155533422707 109% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0835579514825 0.0946595960268 88% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0646900269542 0.0501214627716 129% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0619946091644 0.0437548338989 142% => Less pronouns wanted. Try not to use 'you, I, they, he...' as the subject of a sentence
Prepositions: 0.099730458221 0.122226691241 82% => OK
Participles: 0.0566037735849 0.0403226058552 140% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.84172312011 2.80594681477 101% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0458221024259 0.0326793684256 140% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.00163938923432 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.10781671159 0.0861772015684 125% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0188679245283 0.021408717616 88% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.00539083557951 0.011925033212 45% => Some subClauses wanted starting by 'Which, Who, What, Whom, Whose.....'

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2110.0 1933.35771543 109% => OK
No of words: 337.0 316.048096192 107% => OK
Chars per words: 6.26112759644 6.12580529183 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.28457229495 4.20517956788 102% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.373887240356 0.374742101984 100% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.311572700297 0.28420135186 110% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.216617210682 0.203846283523 106% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.157270029674 0.137316102897 115% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.84172312011 2.80594681477 101% => OK
Unique words: 193.0 176.037074148 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.572700296736 0.56093040696 102% => OK
Word variations: 63.6367815042 60.7387585426 105% => OK
How many sentences: 17.0 16.0891783567 106% => OK
Sentence length: 19.8235294118 20.7743622355 95% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.5594792005 49.517814964 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.117647059 127.492653851 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.8235294118 20.7743622355 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.529411764706 0.814263465372 65% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.38877755511 114% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 3.99599198397 50% => OK
Readability: 50.9807994414 49.1944974215 104% => OK
Elegance: 1.27272727273 1.69124875643 75% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.432664439939 0.332605444948 130% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.108127755592 0.102741220458 105% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0682767623995 0.0668466124924 102% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.551324856358 0.534860350844 103% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.108600775656 0.148594505496 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.174078603856 0.134430193775 129% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0861995360184 0.0742795772207 116% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.341840152026 0.324371583561 105% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0258085834083 0.0638462369009 40% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.273790942972 0.228012699653 120% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0439500345306 0.058150111329 76% => OK

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.68436873747 81% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.9879759519 125% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 3.41683366733 146% => OK
Positive topic words: 4.0 5.90881763527 68% => OK
Negative topic words: 3.0 2.5751503006 116% => OK
Neutral topic words: 3.0 1.9629258517 153% => OK
Total topic words: 10.0 10.4468937876 96% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Rates: 84.2696629213 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.