You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don’t.Discuss both these points of views and give your own opinion.Write at least 250 words.

Essay topics:

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don’t.

Discuss both these points of views and give your own opinion.

Write at least 250 words.

In the modern world, being a professional sportsperson is gradually becoming an alternative livelihood for some individuals to survive. It is commonly believed that a sportsman can establish a role model for the youth. However, other people oppose the view.

It is reasonable to believe that young people can positively affected by a sportsperson. First of all, most sportsmen have a variety of valuable qualities that are worthy of serious attention. Lee Chongwei, a badminton world champion, for example, his steadfast dedication and tremendous perseverance are valued by the whole world. Therefore, the young can be inspired greatly to become a hardy being. In addition, athletes also play a significant role in encouraging the youth to take exercise daily and maintain their health, as they have an impressive proficiency in knowledge about the importance and benefits of daily exercise.

On the other hand, it is also worth mentioning that some sportspersons are not always the optimum role model for the young. Firstly, athletes play no role in educating young people, especially those school students, about the approaches to enhance their academic skills, as most sportsmen are ineffectual at theoretical studies. Furthermore, a large number of sportsmen possess no self-discipline. As an illustration, some sportspersons are prone to a series of temptations, thereby deviating from social norms and becoming notorious for misbehaviour including sexual or doping scandals. As a consequence, some psychologically immature adolescents may develop a tendency to imitate them.

To conclude with my opinion, most athletes are well-qualified for establishing a good role model for the youth, attributable to their valuable qualities. However, the minority of sportsmen with disturbing habits also have negative impacts on the youth.

Votes
Average: 7.5 (3 votes)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 343, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...al at theoretical studies. Furthermore, a large number of sportsmen possess no self-discipline. A...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, furthermore, however, if, may, so, therefore, well, for example, in addition, first of all, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 13.1623246493 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 7.85571142285 51% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 10.4138276553 48% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 4.0 7.30460921844 55% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 15.0 24.0651302605 62% => OK
Preposition: 31.0 41.998997996 74% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.3376753507 96% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1566.0 1615.20841683 97% => OK
No of words: 278.0 315.596192385 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.63309352518 5.12529762239 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.08329915638 4.20363070211 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.28132485447 2.80592935109 117% => OK
Unique words: 168.0 176.041082164 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.604316546763 0.561755894193 108% => OK
syllable_count: 495.0 506.74238477 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.60771543086 112% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 5.43587174349 74% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.384769539078 0% => OK
Article: 4.0 2.52805611222 158% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.10420841683 190% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 16.0721442886 93% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.2975951904 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 52.4440866278 49.4020404114 106% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.4 106.682146367 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.5333333333 20.7667163134 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.06666666667 7.06120827912 128% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.67935871743 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.9879759519 100% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.4128256513 88% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.178687791469 0.244688304435 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0603795801575 0.084324248473 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0536757362589 0.0667982634062 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.114228490803 0.151304729494 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0237944773118 0.056905535591 42% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.4 13.0946893788 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 36.28 50.2224549098 72% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 11.3001002004 112% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.37 12.4159519038 124% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 10.1 8.58950901804 118% => OK
difficult_words: 98.0 78.4519038076 125% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 9.78957915832 72% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.1190380762 91% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 84.2696629213 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.5 Out of 9
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

young people can positively affected by a sportsperson
young people can be positively affected by
better: a sportsperson can positively affect young people //better to use active voice

flaws:
There are a lot of sentences with passive voice, better to use active voice.

affected by a sportsperson
are valued by the whole world
the young can be inspired (by ...)

The third paragraph is developed better than the second paragraph.

----------------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 278 350
No. of Characters: 1518 1500
No. of Different Words: 163 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.083 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.46 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.189 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 115 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 97 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 79 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 53 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.533 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.658 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.309 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.512 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.042 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5