Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The government should support artists rather than allow them to support themselves.
It's a common impression among people that most artists live a difficult life. They've given tremendous time and efforts just in order to compose a masterpiece. However, not so many people are able to appreciate ttheir work, and even few people could afford and willing to buy them. Owing to this fact, I would like to agree that the government should support artists. I would like to address several reasons to substantiate my view.
As I mentioned above, artists always devote themselves into their works. However, they recieve much less realistic feedbacks compared to what they've sacrificed. My art teacher in elementary school used to be an painter. He often thought really hard, like brain-storming, and spent a lot of time in composing a picture. As a result, his work was really inspiring and extraordinary. Yet it seemed like nobody was able to appreciate his work. As he could only made ends meet, he eventually gave up the life as an painter and turned to teach children art. If government was able to suppport them, perhaps things won't go out in that way and we were still able to see his new, beautiful work now.
Some people may claim that there is no reason for government to spend money on protecting artists because artists are not really a necessary job in the society. Nevertheless, I have to argue that art is so important and it often affects us in a invisible way. Art is a part of our education. We teach children to compose or appreciate art works because we now live in a advanced society where there are still something people persue beyond food and security.
The existence of artists can let us view the world with a artistic value. A company can atcually benefit from artists too. For example, a furniture company can sell products that is both well functional and elegant in looking. The latter trait would rely a lot on a artist. And as our society is able to appreciate art, this product would sell well.
To conclude, artists are indespensible to the society and their contribution are huge although people often neglect it. Owing to these facts, government should take some measures to support the artists in order to let their society thrive.
most artists live a difficult life.
most artists live in a difficult life.
and even few people could afford and willing to buy them.
and even few people could afford and are willing to buy them.
with a artistic value
with an artistic value
can sell products that is both well functional and elegant
can sell products that are both well functional and elegant
Sentence: As he could only made ends meet, he eventually gave up the life as an painter and turned to teach children art.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to children and art
Sentence: However, not so many people are able to appreciate ttheir work, and even few people could afford and willing to buy them.
Error: ttheir Suggestion: their
Sentence: However, they recieve much less realistic feedbacks compared to what they've sacrificed.
Error: recieve Suggestion: receive
Sentence: If government was able to suppport them, perhaps things won't go out in that way and we were still able to see his new, beautiful work now.
Error: suppport Suggestion: support
Sentence: We teach children to compose or appreciate art works because we now live in a advanced society where there are still something people persue beyond food and security.
Error: persue Suggestion: pursue
Sentence: A company can atcually benefit from artists too.
Error: atcually Suggestion: actually
Sentence: To conclude, artists are indespensible to the society and their contribution are huge although people often neglect it.
Error: indespensible Suggestion: indispensable
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 381 350
No. of Characters: 1762 1500
No. of Different Words: 210 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.418 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.625 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.572 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 120 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 92 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 49 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.875 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.064 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.417 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.268 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.476 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.118 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5