Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Playing computer games is a waste of time. Children should not be allowed to play them.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Although it can be argued that working and playing with computer is beneficial for students, I disagree that it has more benefits than not playing computers. Three reasons persuade me to put forward this viewpoint. First of all game are distraction, moreover it cause lots of health problems, and finally, these games make the children carefree.
First of all, these type of game are distraction, it does not matter how short period they spend on it; as they start to play for few minutes they forget everything and as they want to start to do their academic study, they cannot concentrate on subjects. They are addictive to the game and they just wanted to find solution for the specific level of the game and go to next level. So, it shows how their study influenced by the game.
Second, play for long time by computer causes some serious health problems like: problems in eye sight, or headaches. Spending long time in front of the monitor damages your eyes. In addition, it can bother your sleep too because your brain just wants to think about it and its process; so, it make your brain to be tired and cannot gain necessary data as possible they can. Thus, it illustrates how playing with computer cause some physical and mental problems.
Finally, some types of game specially the action ones make the children to be carefree because as they see so criminal and bad action due they game; they use to this pattern and they starting to act in this path, which by society’s norms it seems as abnormality. Or, if they do not act like them, these actions seem as norm for them, and as they see this behavior at the society, they do not show any reaction toward them. So, it states how playing computer games make some abnormalities seem normal.
To recap, although the computer has big influence in our life and it importance in our success is not deniable, I think it is a good idea to have control toward our children as they use this device to protect them from its bad influences.
all game are distraction,
all games are distractions,
Sentence: moreover it cause lots of health problems, and finally, these games make the children carefree.
Description: The fragment it cause lots is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace cause with verb, past tense
their study influenced by the game.
their study is influenced by the game.
it make your brain
it makes your brain
Sentence: Thus, it illustrates how playing with computer cause some physical and mental problems.
Description: The fragment computer cause some is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace cause with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Sentence: Finally, some types of game specially the action ones make the children to be carefree because as they see so criminal and bad action due they game; they use to this pattern and they starting to act in this path, which by society's norms it seems as abnormality.
Description: The word game is not usually used as a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to game
Sentence: To recap, although the computer has big influence in our life and it importance in our success is not deniable, I think it is a good idea to have control toward our children as they use this device to protect them from its bad influences.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to it and importance
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
Read a good grammar book.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 18 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 355 350
No. of Characters: 1589 1500
No. of Different Words: 182 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.341 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.476 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.297 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 95 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 75 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 53 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 19 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.357 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.751 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.326 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.601 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.093 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5