DO you agree or disagree?It is better for children to choose jobs that are similar to their parent’s job than to choose jobs that are very different from their parent’ job.

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DO you agree or disagree?
It is better for children to choose jobs that are similar to their parent’s job than to choose jobs that are very different from their parent’ job.

There is no doubt that students should have an occupation that is highly different from their family's job. It arouses much controversy among members of particular people with different perspective due to distinctive experience about whether choosing a great career that is analogous to their families or not. In order to substantiate my vantage point, I would like to address some of the key points: having a great deal of interest is vital, working in a task that has an excessive money.

In the first place, the most noticeable merit of the notion pertaining to the interest and avid in life. We all know that having a great deal of interest in each task is imperative. As a matter of the fact, job has a pivotal role in the society. What's more, when a students select a particular job which is identical to his parents as well, they do not like it, she would not be success without any hesitation due to the fact that one of the most important consideration for being a prosperous man is a eager spirit. As a result having a sense of love although is differ from their parents is greatly worthwhile. A concrete example for this issue, when I was studying at university a abroad one of my college classmates was not active, owing to the fact that she select major which his father coerced him. As a consequence, she did not pay more heed to his task. Besides, she was immensely upset most of the time. This experience taught me that students should allocate their time and money for a major which they like it not similar to the families. Needless to say, under this circumstance, this difference has a plethora of benefits, which is valuable.

Along the same line, another privilege of the above mentioned, having a tremendous amount of money. All of us know that money is an indispensable criteria in the community. everybody should take a job, which has a huge number money such as professor or Doctor. Another subtle explanation for this matter, some careers such as carpenter and driver got lower income. Besides, this jobs have a slightly prestigious in the community. Hence, students should consider that their parent's job is lucrative or not. One of the striking example for this matter, one of my roommate has become a successful man all over the world since, he have a job which is profitable, nevertheless, his task is differ from his father. Considering all the detail we should understand that money is the most consideration in life which is crucial for healthy and so forth. Nonetheless, a variety of ideas are opposed this opinions, they claims that taking a new job is risk in spite of the fact money is significant. having a massive dexterity and experience is more substantial.

To put the issue into perspective by taking into account these entire aspects we can safely draw the conclusion that we should contemplate that having a variety personality is superb for success. Opinions are highly personal. Consequently, as a final statement, I would like to point out that students did not limit to their parent's job.

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having a great deal of interest is vital, working in a task that has an excessive money.
having a great deal of interest that is vital, working in a task that has an excessive money. //parallel

when a students select a particular job
when a student selects a particular job

she would not be success
she would not be successful

Along the same line, another privilege of the above mentioned, having a tremendous amount of money.
Description: what is the verb for this sentence? can you re-write this sentence?

Sentence: As a result having a sense of love although is differ from their parents is greatly worthwhile.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to is and differ

Sentence: A concrete example for this issue, when I was studying at university a abroad one of my college classmates was not active, owing to the fact that she select major which his father coerced him.
Description: The fragment a abroad one is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace abroad with adjective

Sentence: Besides, this jobs have a slightly prestigious in the community.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and jobs

Sentence: One of the striking example for this matter, one of my roommate has become a successful man all over the world since, he have a job which is profitable, nevertheless, his task is differ from his father.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to is and differ

Sentence: Nonetheless, a variety of ideas are opposed this opinions, they claims that taking a new job is risk in spite of the fact money is significant. having a massive dexterity and experience is more substantial.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and opinions
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to they and claims

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 10 2

Read a good grammar book.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 10 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 527 350
No. of Characters: 2457 1500
No. of Different Words: 253 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.791 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.662 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.69 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 166 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 119 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 87 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 57 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.958 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.842 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.542 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.283 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.43 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.122 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5

How can I correct this sentence?
many thanks.
Along the same line, another privilege of the above mentioned, having a tremendous amount of money.
Description: what is the verb for this sentence? can you re-write this sentence?

Along the same line, another privilege of the above mentioned, having a tremendous amount of money.

Along the same line, another privilege which is mentioned above is having a tremendous amount of money.
Along the same line, another privilege mentioned above is having a tremendous amount of money.
Along the same line, another privilege mentioned above is to have a tremendous amount of money.