In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon. Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay.
Change is a powerful part of our existence. In order to dominate the earth, we have to change our life to better and develop ways as well as we have to take care of negative effects that make our live worse. In my view, there are many factors that make people live longer now.
To begin with, the most important part is progress of health. Researchers establish many methods to safe people from most of diseases during experiments that find the causes of diseases, especially new one. In addition, pharmacy science has well developed, and pharmacist discoverd many drugs that uses for new illnesses. In fact, I read an article which asserts that because sciences are well developed, our health is better compared to the health before ten years. In fact, the author provides an example of surgeries before to illustrate his claim. surprisingly, he mentions that tools that used in a surgery were very contaminated as a result the patient easily die. After many researcher and experiment, they found that they have to sterilize all tools of surgery. Moreover, there are plenty of cures are discovered in late decay for many diseases such as heart failure, cholera, lung and liver disease and even obesity that make people live longer before. As we can clearly see, that without these all development, we will not living for long time.
Hence, in addition to the health, the life is more convenient nowadays. In advent of technology and electicity, all these solve a lot of problems that were before a very hard task to all mankind such as food, shelter, and clothes. I remember that I watched a movei about how the human being suffers to search for food and shelter , so he can able to survive in our planet. He has to seek in the forest to get food and to build his own home to keep him safe from animals and many humans killed because animals. I definitely understand that our outgoing life is more easier and comfortable than before, and this lead to aspect that we all are living longer now.
By the way of conclusion, based on the argument above, we realize that many factors that make us living longer than before. All we should thank our god and appreciate our technology and devlopment because we live in the planet in a good way.
we have to change our life to better and develop ways as well as we have to take care of negative effects that make our live worse.
Description: why 'as well as' here?
as well as==and
is progress of health
is the progress of health
to safe people
to save people
many drugs that uses for new illnesses
many drugs that are used for new illnesses
the patient easily die
the patient easily dies
there are plenty of cures are discovered in late decay
there are plenty of cures which are discovered in late decade
we will not living for long time.
we will not live for long time.
we will not be living for long time.
so he can able to survive in our planet
so he is able to survive in our planet
and many humans killed because animals
and many humans are killed because animals
our outgoing life is more easier
our outgoing life is much easier
our outgoing life is easier
Sentence: In addition, pharmacy science has well developed, and pharmacist discoverd many drugs that uses for new illnesses.
Error: discoverd Suggestion: discovered
Sentence: In advent of technology and electicity, all these solve a lot of problems that were before a very hard task to all mankind such as food, shelter, and clothes.
Error: electicity Suggestion: electricity
Sentence: I remember that I watched a movei about how the human being suffers to search for food and shelter , so he can able to survive in our planet.
Error: movei Suggestion: movie
Sentence: All we should thank our god and appreciate our technology and devlopment because we live in the planet in a good way.
Error: devlopment Suggestion: development
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 10 2
Read a good grammar book and double check grammar errors.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 18 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 10 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 395 350
No. of Characters: 1794 1500
No. of Different Words: 206 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.458 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.542 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.37 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 121 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 81 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 50 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.944 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.799 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.611 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.309 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.485 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.157 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5