If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.

Although almost all people love the city which were born and grown up in it; some of us decide to move out when we cannot satisfy our basic or important needs. For me it was after my graduation from university, when I decided to leave my hometown to find a good job, actually this is one of the main reasons which forces young people to give up their city. If I had a power, I would like to change the unemployment problem in my hometown.

During the study in university I had some imagines about my future job and I was eager about working in my filed but it did not take so long to realize that it is impossible to find my ideal job or even a more usual job in my city. Because of the low number of companies and organization which are working in this region, all job seeker face to lots of difficulties. As a result, some of them find a low level or completely routine job and stay, but the other groups prefer to try new places.

It cannot be said that going to the new cities and experiencing new circumstances does not have any advantages, but the point is that it will not be so pleasing when there is no second alternative. In this situation we have to pay so much in order to find another place to live.

Regarding to this big problem of my city, I think it could be helpful if government pay more attention about young expert and motivated people who are willing to start their carrier in their hometown by making a balance in attributing the accommodation to companies and organization to make them reluctant in working in another cities or places. Furthermore, they can allocate some facilities such as loan to youth entrepreneurs and let them to provide new job opportunities for them-selves and the other people.

In conclusion, while unemployment is the common problem of all cities and countries; it differs among special areas. Unfortunately my hometown hardly suffers from this trouble and if something takes in action about this situation, people will live in better situation.

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Average: 4.5 (2 votes)
Essay Categories

Although almost all people love the city which were born and grown up in it;
Although almost all people love the city where they were born and grown up

if government pay more attention
if government pays more attention

in working in another cities or places.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to another and cities

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 23 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 360 350
No. of Characters: 1608 1500
No. of Different Words: 188 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.356 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.467 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.67 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 99 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 68 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 45 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 30 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.563 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.833 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.366 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.663 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.158 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5