If you could make one important change in the educational system of your country, what change would you make? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.
Nowadays it is undeniable that education has a significant role in the development of the country. So modifying the educational system is one of the important action of developing countries. In my opinion educational system of developing countries has been considered less because of their other issues such as economic problems, therefore, many defects and shortages can be seen in this system. So governments, in order to develop their countries, must reform their educational system. As far as I am concerned some of these defects – that is – low salary of teachers, lack of the supervision of teaching and a gap between universities and industries are the most conspicuous ones.
The most important reason is that low salary of teachers forces them to look for another work besides teaching. Therefore they lose their concentrate on teaching and as a result, a quality of the education is decreased. Thus increasing the allowance of teachers is so important change because it improves their tranquility and as a result not only can they presence concentrated in class but also they can provide their all knowledge to students. In addition, low salary caused to some teachers do not do their best work in class and get extra money from students to teach them as a private tutor. So by resolving this problem, teachers work conscientiously and the level of the education is increased.
The second reason is the lack of the supervision of teaching. In classes, there is no supervision of teachers teaching, so sometimes they do not work conscientiously. In my opinion, for example, by installing cameras in classes, recording all courses and uploading movies of them subsequently to the website of the university, anyone can see what happens in the classes and teachers how do their work. So by this way, the performance of teachers is monitored, and consequently, teachers should do their best.
Last but not least, a gap between universities and industries is a serious problem that must be reformed. Because of this problem, students after graduating from universities cannot find a proper job, so that the unemployment is rising sharply in the society, and unfortunately sometimes graduated students are forced to migrate to other countries, and we lost these precious capitals. In this regard, increasing relationships between universities and industries, determining research topics by industries, and carrying out these topics by university students, bridge this gap and as a result, prepare students to get a proper job in the future and also imparts industries from updated technologies.
To sum up, in order to have a developed country, we are to reform our educational system in three main areas, namely having a particularly purposed increasing wage of teachers, monitoring the performance of teachers in the classes, and finally bridging a gap between universities and industries. I hope, someday, our authorities can solve these problems and not only develop our countries but also prevent from migrating of our graduated students to other countries.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 113, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...look for another work besides teaching. Therefore they lose their concentrate on teaching...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, consequently, finally, if, look, second, so, therefore, thus, for example, in addition, such as, as a result, in my opinion, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 23.0 13.8261648746 166% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 11.0286738351 45% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 43.0 43.0788530466 100% => OK
Preposition: 71.0 52.1666666667 136% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2591.0 1977.66487455 131% => OK
No of words: 493.0 407.700716846 121% => OK
Chars per words: 5.25557809331 4.8611393121 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.71206996034 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.1314477566 2.67179642975 117% => OK
Unique words: 226.0 212.727598566 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.458417849899 0.524837075471 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 803.7 618.680645161 130% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 9.59856630824 31% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 10.0 4.94265232975 202% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 76.0921951363 48.9658058833 155% => OK
Chars per sentence: 136.368421053 100.406767564 136% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.9473684211 20.6045352989 126% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.10526315789 5.45110844103 149% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 11.8709677419 51% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 3.85842293907 233% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0756355671491 0.236089414692 32% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0320707497976 0.076458572812 42% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0365704210784 0.0737576698707 50% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0439148739856 0.150856017488 29% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0361782450236 0.0645574589148 56% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.3 11.7677419355 139% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 58.1214874552 79% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 10.1575268817 128% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.52 10.9000537634 124% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.78 8.01818996416 110% => OK
difficult_words: 122.0 86.8835125448 140% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.5 10.002688172 125% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.