one of the best way that parents can help children is to encourage them to get a part time job. Do you agree or disagree?

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one of the best way that parents can help children is to encourage them to get a part time job. Do you agree or disagree?

Today the majority of people are convinced that adults have a great role in children's life and their happiness is the most important concern of all families. In spite of the fact that some families try to convince children to take a part-time job, many of them do not like this policy. this essay is going to analyze two arguments which are for and against.

the first group are those who motivate their teenagers to find a part time job, because of some main reasons. Firstly It is a good chance for them to test their abilities under stressful and restricted condition. secondly, if they have a part time job , they will learn the meaning of responsibility and trust. It is a good opportunity for them to learn how to cooperate, make ends meet, and make profit in order to improve their future. Third, working can make them busy due to this reality that the key to success is mastering the art of problem-solving.

however the second group are those who think that it is not the task of children to work by bringing some reasons. they claim that the only duty of children is to concentrate on their studies and enjoy their childhood. They believe that childhood is a great time that will not repeat again. consequently there is no room for children to enjoy if they work or have a part time job. in other words it is better to argue that children are not mature enough to have a job and enter to the adults 'world.

to put it in a nut shell, both groups want to sacrifice themselves for well-being of their children and know that they must support children physically and mentally, but I strongly believe that it will work better and it will be more effective if children get apart time job in order to collaborate, be responsible, and prepare themselves better for a world which is full of pain and suffering. because the glory of human beings is to accept pain and suffering without any complain.

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Average: 7 (1 vote)
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Comments

the first group are those
the first group is those

however the second group are those who
however the second group is those who

a great time that will not repeat again.
a great time that will not repeat.

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
Avg. Sentence Length: 38.111 21.0

Always capitalize the first letter of a sentence.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 9 15
No. of Words: 343 350
No. of Characters: 1528 1500
No. of Different Words: 170 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.304 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.455 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.455 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 85 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 68 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 48 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 38.111 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 19.307 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.778 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.407 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.681 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.217 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5