In general, people think that money for getting better grade in school should be offered school-age children by their parents. They support that they are able to relieve their cumulative stress from their school, which as a result makes them effectively study than before not given any pocket money. However, the notion does not reflect the stance that I hold and should not be thought about in a different light. I believe that parents should not offer their children pocket money in order to enhance their grade better. This is because they are likely to go through the wrong path and parents could not control their children with money.
First of all, parents’ offering their children money enables them to go through the wrong path. To be specific, children lack experience to control themselves against bad situations. They are likely to face various and dangerous situations from today’s society. Also, they are able to go the where they want to go before. However, it would not too bad if the place is wrong for them, such as PC café. For example, in Korea, pc cafes could not be established around schools, which should be far from places about 3km. This is because students are easily addicted to games based on PC. However, if they have enough money to enter that places, their grade would be degrade than before. Thus, this proves that parents’ offering children money for each high grade is not necessary for students in order to prevent them from entering the wrong paths.
Moreover, money from parents should not be allowed in order to improve their children’s grade because parent could not control their children if they give them pocket money. In addition, the most powerful weapon to control their children is money, which makes them being satisfied and promoted. They already know the power of money, which are able to buy something what they want. If parents offer them money, parents would lose their weapon to control them and could not encourage them to achieve better grades in school. For example, when I was in middle school, at that time, I could not get any money from parents. They just bought what I want for me when the grade I earned is better than before in school. It made me being motivated to focus on my study harder and harder. I thought that I could enter the university where I want to enter if my parents offered me pocket money to do what I want to. As a result, parents in modern society should not give their school-age children money because they would not control their children if they offer them.
To sum up, I believe that it is important for parent to not offer their children money in order to encourage them to achieve better grade because their children would go through the wrong paths and parents would lose their weapon to control their children. Consequently, the importance of my views cannot be underestimated in that it can kill two birds with one stone for the reasons I have mentioned above. All in all, this trend will probably continue for the next generations.
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'consequently', 'first', 'however', 'if', 'moreover', 'so', 'thus', 'for example', 'in addition', 'in general', 'such as', 'as a result', 'first of all', 'to sum up']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.198653198653 0.229887763892 86% => OK
Verbs: 0.181818181818 0.158761421928 115% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0555555555556 0.0866891130778 64% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0606060606061 0.046263068375 131% => OK
Pronouns: 0.109427609428 0.0685040099705 160% => Less pronouns wanted. Try not to use 'you, I, they, he...' as the subject of a sentence
Prepositions: 0.124579124579 0.118717715034 105% => OK
Participles: 0.03367003367 0.0351676179071 96% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.36658375854 2.67179642975 89% => OK
Infinitives: 0.043771043771 0.0309702414327 141% => OK
Particles: 0.0016835016835 0.00188951952338 89% => OK
Determiners: 0.0505050505051 0.0887237588012 57% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0353535353535 0.0209618222197 169% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0185185185185 0.0139019557991 133% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 3048.0 2387.08602151 128% => OK
No of words: 527.0 408.028673835 129% => OK
Chars per words: 5.78368121442 5.86048508987 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.79129216042 4.48200974243 107% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.326375711575 0.338922669872 96% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.22770398482 0.251872472559 90% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.121442125237 0.174417080927 70% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0626185958254 0.112833075102 55% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.36658375854 2.67179642975 89% => OK
Unique words: 211.0 212.727598566 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.400379506641 0.524397521467 76% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 45.972927175 59.2087087015 78% => OK
How many sentences: 26.0 20.6684587814 126% => OK
Sentence length: 20.2692307692 20.5533526081 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.1720104374 48.84282405 88% => OK
Chars per sentence: 117.230769231 120.699889404 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.2692307692 20.5533526081 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.576923076923 0.644075263715 90% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.5376344086 88% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.54480286738 0% => OK
Readability: 43.0396292512 45.7405998639 94% => OK
Elegance: 1.01435406699 1.45489161554 70% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.306303176814 0.300154397459 102% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.133023760475 0.103427244359 129% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.101115514304 0.0752933317313 134% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.458957993857 0.497263757937 92% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.124603163088 0.151897553556 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.119500753051 0.114077575197 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0634291311362 0.0781384742642 81% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.505851835787 0.336927656856 150% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0262157269553 0.067059652881 39% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.235476365741 0.210909579961 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0305129562269 0.0618886996521 49% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8870967742 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 3.86379928315 233% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.91756272401 122% => OK
Positive topic words: 9.0 8.42114695341 107% => OK
Negative topic words: 9.0 2.4623655914 366% => OK
Neutral topic words: 5.0 2.75985663082 181% => OK
Total topic words: 23.0 13.6433691756 169% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
---------------------
Less content wanted. Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.