Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Other believe that it is best to use that time doing things together that are related to schoolwork, which of the two approaches do you prefer?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
It is crystal clear that, nowadays, parents have less time to spend with their children than in the old days, since now most of the mothers work outside the house too. With this in mind, a controversy exists whether or not this small amount of time should be just for fun and joyful plays. As far as I am concerned, this invaluable time are far more important than to bring just fun in to the life of our children because of several reasons, two of which are of great importance in comparison to others, which are elaborated upon hereunder.
To begin with, as parents, people have more responsibilities than to provide fun in the upbringing of their children. Additionally, they can mix the schoolwork with fun so that children can learn things through joyful activities. Consequently, this way of spending time with children will improve their discipline in life so that in their adulthood he or she will be more responsible for the works that will be assigned to them. There is so much information about how to do the things that are related to schoolwork with children through some fun activities. As a suggestion, parents can read related researches and articles through the Internet so that they can combine fun and schoolwork together, and use this method in their "together-time." Even though, fun is one of the most important things in life of the young ones, it should not over shadow the other priceless things -- that is -- education, rules, and works to do, to name but a handful.
Secondly, children look up to their parents. They see them as a mentor or even as a role model. Therefore, when parents spend the time doing such things with their children, not just the fun things, they in an unconscious manner learn that they must spend huge amount of their time for the responsibilities in their life too. One of the widely used saying is "Education plays an important part of the society, because it is transferred from one generation to another." This proverb vehemently supports the discussed value of education and related schoolwork to it. It worth mentioning that children love their parents so they will learn quicker when they are been thought by their loved ones. Statistically speaking, children with the participating of their parents in their schoolwork will be more successful in obtaining higher grades and learning the lessons.
To sum up, by taking in to account all the above mentioned factors, we reach the conclusion that parents must participant in their children education through spending time and helping children with their schoolwork. I strongly suggest that parents can combine fun and learning process in order for upbringing a more sophisticated person in various aspects of their personality and I really hope that they not take this priceless time for granted and use it in the best way they can.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 209, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...With this in mind, a controversy exists whether or not this small amount of time should be jus...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 205, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in an unconscious manner" with adverb for "unconscious"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...children, not just the fun things, they in an unconscious manner learn that they must spend huge amount ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, if, look, really, second, secondly, so, therefore, to begin with, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 9.8082437276 153% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 59.0 43.0788530466 137% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 75.0 52.1666666667 144% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2394.0 1977.66487455 121% => OK
No of words: 482.0 407.700716846 118% => OK
Chars per words: 4.96680497925 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.68556276237 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.9463621284 2.67179642975 110% => OK
Unique words: 222.0 212.727598566 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.460580912863 0.524837075471 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 704.7 618.680645161 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 30.0 20.1344086022 149% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 87.6526347294 48.9658058833 179% => OK
Chars per sentence: 149.625 100.406767564 149% => OK
Words per sentence: 30.125 20.6045352989 146% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.875 5.45110844103 108% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.345842474091 0.236089414692 146% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.123493003193 0.076458572812 162% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0689273891872 0.0737576698707 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.224771352981 0.150856017488 149% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0369452887232 0.0645574589148 57% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.0 11.7677419355 144% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.49 58.1214874552 85% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 10.1575268817 136% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.14 10.9000537634 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.14 8.01818996416 102% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 86.8835125448 106% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 10.002688172 180% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.0 10.0537634409 139% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 71.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.