Some teenagers take part in different kinds of activities such as musical classes, sport classes and so on, but others only focus on one activity which is important to them. Which idea do you support?
As time marches on, what activities we do play prevailing role in every individual’s life. Some people may hold the view that it is essential that each person be expert in different kinds of activities. However, others may take an opposite point and believe that it is important to concentrate on only one activity. I personally contend that the later opinion is more promising. In what follows, I will elaborate on my viewpoint.
The first exquisite point to be mentiond is that in the competitive world of today, with its galloping rate of progress, occupations are being very specialized and complicated so much so that everyone in charge of a particular job should enjoy a great deal of knowledge and experience. To satisfy such a need, it goes with out saying that if we focus on one activity, we will have the opportunity to spend all of our time to reach the pinnacle of the activity. Take a personal experience as an example, when I was in the high school, I was participate in varios kinds of extra curricular activities such as badminton and violin classes. As time goes by, I became weaker than before in both of field because I did not have enough time to spent for the classes. Therefore, I decided to toke part in only the violin class. Not only did I become one of the best players in my city, but also my grades improved due to the fact that I learned how to divide my time.
Another reason which deserves some words here is that No one can turn a blind eye to the fact that in today modern world, doing different kinds of activities may feature largely in being truimph in not-so-distant future, for people can utilize them in confronting problems. In contrast, the noteworthy statistics, conducted in the developed countries, show that people’s brains, who concentrate on one major, have the great efficiency rather than the ones who are involved to a lot of activities. For example, I always follow Steve Jobs as a role model because of the fact that he always tried to do one job which love it the most. As a result, he could revolutionize the world. As we can see, his opinion was that every person in this world has a unique potential which gives him/her to find his/her destiny.
To put everything in a nutshell, taking all the aforementioned reasons into account, it can be concluded that it is axiomatic that if we spent our whole time doing only one activity, it will lead us to being a prosperous person. To have a thriving society, it is definitely a requirement to enhance our skills in the activity which is very important to us. Consequently, it is highly recommended that it is the government’s obligation to find the potential of every youth.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 318, Rule ID: WITH_OUT[1]
Message: This word is usually written together. Did you mean 'without'?
Suggestion: without
...rience. To satisfy such a need, it goes with out saying that if we focus on one activity...
^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 540, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'participated'.
Suggestion: participated
...e, when I was in the high school, I was participate in varios kinds of extra curricular act...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 620, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ricular activities such as badminton and violin classes. As time goes by, I becam...
^^
Line 3, column 558, Rule ID: BECAUSE_OF_THE_FACT_THAT[1]
Message: This phrase is redundant. Use simply 'because'.
Suggestion: because
...lways follow Steve Jobs as a role model because of the fact that he always tried to do one job which lov...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 478, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...n to find the potential of every youth.
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, however, if, may, so, therefore, for example, in contrast, such as, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 15.1003584229 139% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 13.8261648746 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 23.0 11.0286738351 209% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 60.0 43.0788530466 139% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 64.0 52.1666666667 123% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2221.0 1977.66487455 112% => OK
No of words: 475.0 407.700716846 117% => OK
Chars per words: 4.67578947368 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.66845742379 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.89564081579 2.67179642975 108% => OK
Unique words: 245.0 212.727598566 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.515789473684 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 727.2 618.680645161 118% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 69.1050827752 48.9658058833 141% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.894736842 100.406767564 116% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.0 20.6045352989 121% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.84210526316 5.45110844103 107% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.263333495726 0.236089414692 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0687242308119 0.076458572812 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0573542092436 0.0737576698707 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.152310048622 0.150856017488 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0188403899782 0.0645574589148 29% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 11.7677419355 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 58.1214874552 94% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.16 10.9000537634 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.27 8.01818996416 103% => OK
difficult_words: 102.0 86.8835125448 117% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.