Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time. Which of these situations do you think is better?
In many European countries, adolescent move out from their parents’ home in order to be independent, whereas in many Asian and South American countries young adults prefer to stay longer time with their families. Thus, there is no shortage of debate about whether it is better to move out rapidly from their parents or to stay with their families. In my opinion, for an adolescent, it is more advantageous to reside with their families for longer time. I feel this way for two main reason, which I will explore in the following essay.
First of all, as a young adult, one can save more money by living at home. Adolescent does not typically have a regular income to pay an apartment and enjoyable lifestyle, and on the other side to save money. This is especially true for students and apprentices. My own experience is a compelling example for this. During the period of study, I worked as librarian for a minimum wage at the university. It was the right amount of money to enjoy your life and to save money for the future. However, it was not enough to pay an own apartment and thus I was happy to stay with my family throughout the course of my study. For this reason, staying with the family for a greater time will save a lot of money.
Secondly, an adolescent is mostly not mature enough to take important decisions and for the responsibilities of adulthood. But many people would say that by making mistakes, one will learn faster to adapt to the adult life. However, some of these bad decisions could have a long-lasting effect. For instance, during my young adulthood, I was nearly ready to join the German army. I was not only fascinated by the imagination of myself in the uniform of a soldier, but also of fighting against the "bad" people around the world. In retrospect, I can say that I was not mature enough to take an important decision, such as this, and thus I am very thankful that my family helped me to open my eyes. If I had lived on my own, I am sure that I would joined the German army and this would be certainly the worst decision in my life. Accordingly, I think staying with your family as an adolescent for a longer time will prevent you from taking bad decision. Moreover, it will allow you to mature in a secured environment.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that it is better for young adults to stay with their family for a longer period. This is because, youngster will save a lot of money and they will mature in a secured environment which will prevent them in taking bad decisions and making mistakes.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 118, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun Asian seems to be countable; consider using: 'many Asians'.
Suggestion: many Asians
... in order to be independent, whereas in many Asian and South American countries young adul...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 757, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: 'join'
Suggestion: join
...lived on my own, I am sure that I would joined the German army and this would be certa...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, but, first, however, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, thus, whereas, for instance, i feel, i think, in conclusion, such as, first of all, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 9.8082437276 143% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 56.0 43.0788530466 130% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 68.0 52.1666666667 130% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2106.0 1977.66487455 106% => OK
No of words: 460.0 407.700716846 113% => OK
Chars per words: 4.57826086957 4.8611393121 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.6311565067 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67912535455 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 214.0 212.727598566 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.465217391304 0.524837075471 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 681.3 618.680645161 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.994623655914 0% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 40.4480109264 48.9658058833 83% => OK
Chars per sentence: 91.5652173913 100.406767564 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.0 20.6045352989 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.52173913043 5.45110844103 138% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.296649770146 0.236089414692 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0898483003178 0.076458572812 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0955314938764 0.0737576698707 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.207330021613 0.150856017488 137% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.09238252253 0.0645574589148 143% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.1 11.7677419355 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.28 10.9000537634 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.61 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 86.8835125448 100% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.