Students of a university have a long break between university semesters; the university requires all students to do one of the following for one month during the break:
1. Students must take a course on the subject that has no direct connection to their majors of study (For example, a student majoring in engineering may take course in fine arts or social science.)
2. Students must volunteer to work in the university’s city or their hometowns to improve some aspects of life of the city or their own town. (For example, students may help local primary school children with their homework.) Which one do you think is more beneficial for students in their university? Why? Give detailed examples and reasons. Use your OWN words, do NOT use memorized examples
The answer to this question can be varied from person to person. In my opinion, the benefits of volunteering work clearly outweigh taking a course. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will explore in the following paragraphs.
To begin with, students are bombarded with a lot of theoretical knowledge and different information at school, and being a volunteer enables them to expand their horizon and promote their personal skills. In fact, if they do not put their knowledge into practice, they cannot apply them in the real world. An example will illustrate this viewpoint much better. When I was an undergraduate student, I wanted to be a volunteer in a high school, since my major was related to teaching system. Subsequently, I moved to the countryside and became a teacher at a high school. It helped me to touch the real world and understand what is important in order to become a teacher. For this reason, it is really worth for students to experience something by volunteering work.
Secondly, students who are volunteer are able to contribute to their city and town positively by helping people. Some poor students could not afford to enroll in a great school; therefore, they need to be helped by these students in order to increase their knowledge and receive a better education. Because most of the poor students have to work besides education, it can be an enormous contribution to them. For example, when I was a graduate student, I had a part-time job at university campus magazine as a reporter. As I remember, one time, I interviewed professor Nejati, who is a well-known psychologist in our country, about the effects of students' role in the future of society. He told me that a high percentage of poor people are assisted by volunteer students are the one who could continue their study and became a prosperous person. As a result, the more students help cities and towns by their volunteers work, the more cities and town can be better placed to live.
In conclusion, no one can deny the enormous effects of volunteer work on the society. Not only are they able to improve their personal skills, but also they can make better city and town to live.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 20, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a are'.
Suggestion: who is a are
...olunteering work. Secondly, students who are volunteer are able to contribute to the...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, if, really, second, secondly, so, therefore, well, for example, i feel, in conclusion, in fact, as a result, in my opinion, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 40.0 43.0788530466 93% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 52.1666666667 104% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1813.0 1977.66487455 92% => OK
No of words: 378.0 407.700716846 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.7962962963 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.40933352052 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79128111178 2.67179642975 104% => OK
Unique words: 197.0 212.727598566 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.521164021164 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 568.8 618.680645161 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.1653926042 48.9658058833 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 95.4210526316 100.406767564 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.8947368421 20.6045352989 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.26315789474 5.45110844103 152% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.205109467883 0.236089414692 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0633577167523 0.076458572812 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0471348073973 0.0737576698707 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.107514291938 0.150856017488 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0729074603428 0.0645574589148 113% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.1 11.7677419355 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.56 10.9000537634 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.96 8.01818996416 99% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 86.8835125448 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.