TOEFL ESSAY: Some people like to communicate by e-mail and voice mail. Other people like to communicate by telephone or face-to-face. Which type of communication do you prefer, and why?
Their has been a lot of advance in the field of communications and telecommunications in the recent years which has made this era called the "telecommunications era". But does this advancements make people to not use or forget the previous methods on communication? It might be quite early to answer such a question but we can already see some people prefer newer methods such asusing voice mail and emails over traditional ways such as telephone or talking face-to-face.
Although sending emails or prerecorded voice mails to create relations and transfering messages might be exciting and fast, but in my view, traditional ways of communication will never get old or get forgotten. This can be discussed further based on the two major parts of: the feelings that could be transfered in a talk, and the requirements of having such communications.
Communicating face-to-face is the oldest way for people to transfer thier inner feelings and thoughts. Furthermore, not only the ideas of a person is transfered by the means of voice but also his gestures and body language can give much meaningful messages, which cannot be transfered over new methods at all. Even when recording a video message, which a person can see and hear the other person, there is still a lack of the energy that is transfered compared to when talking direct and face-to-face.
Moreover, sending and recieving electronic message requires its own prerequisits. Without having a computer, an internet line and a valid email address one cannot communicate with others. This problem is still valid even if only one of the mentioned is missed. But in the traditional ways it just needs a valid telephone line and a telephone set; or just nothing at all in a direct conversation.
When everything is said and done, considering all the advantages newer communication types such as emails and voice mails have, the good old telephone talking or having a conversation direct and face-to-face still have thier energetic preferences that will never get old.
Their has been a lot of advance
There has been a lot of advance
Sentence: But does this advancements make people to not use or forget the previous methods on communication?
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and advancements
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a negator
Suggestion: Refer to to and not
Sentence: When everything is said and done, considering all the advantages newer communication types such as emails and voice mails have, the good old telephone talking or having a conversation direct and face-to-face still have thier energetic preferences that will never get old.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to conversation and direct
Sentence: It might be quite early to answer such a question but we can already see some people prefer newer methods such asusing voice mail and emails over traditional ways such as telephone or talking face-to-face.
Error: asusing Suggestion: assuming
Sentence: Although sending emails or prerecorded voice mails to create relations and transfering messages might be exciting and fast, but in my view, traditional ways of communication will never get old or get forgotten.
Error: transfering Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: This can be discussed further based on the two major parts of: the feelings that could be transfered in a talk, and the requirements of having such communications.
Error: transfered Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Communicating face-to-face is the oldest way for people to transfer thier inner feelings and thoughts.
Error: thier Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Furthermore, not only the ideas of a person is transfered by the means of voice but also his gestures and body language can give much meaningful messages, which cannot be transfered over new methods at all.
Error: transfered Suggestion: transferred
Sentence: Even when recording a video message, which a person can see and hear the other person, there is still a lack of the energy that is transfered compared to when talking direct and face-to-face.
Error: transfered Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Moreover, sending and recieving electronic message requires its own prerequisits.
Error: recieving Suggestion: receiving
Error: prerequisits Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: When everything is said and done, considering all the advantages newer communication types such as emails and voice mails have, the good old telephone talking or having a conversation direct and face-to-face still have thier energetic preferences that will never get old.
Error: thier Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 332 350
No. of Characters: 1657 1500
No. of Different Words: 173 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.269 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.991 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.077 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 107 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 80 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.538 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.826 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.692 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.339 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.625 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.073 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5