TPO-21 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your ans

If you ask parents about what they hope their children can achieve, the answer is likely about success. Not only has it become the main topic of self-help sections in any bookstores, but it also has been the main topic for research by psychologists of our era. How do we determine our success in a future job? Some people think that the ability to relate to other people is the answer, while some others differ by stating the obvious: studying hard in school. Success may mean many things, but here let us focus on financial success. I believe that success is obtained by the ability to relate to other people.

First, we can achieve success at work by being a good communicator. For example, I know a friend who used to research about crime reduction in Indonesia. Being a student and researcher, he may have fallen behind his peers. However, there is one thing he can do while the others lack: communication skills. He went for meetings instead of his peers and he presented his peers’ work. When conflicts arose, he was the one to mediate the disputes. While the others may have been better researchers, he was appointed the team leader. As human beings, we are hard-wired to like and despise certain characteristics. Hence, conflicts always exist in professional world. That’s why being able to relate to people help in our professional journey, so that it will lead to success.

Next, if we want to make the world a better place, we need to solve more social problems. Being able to relate to people means being able to be empathetic. Human empathy helps us identify social problems. As a result, we may be able to solve problems when we can identify them in the first place. It is difficult to make the world a better place when we don’t help the humans inside it. For instance, Facebook becomes successful because Mark Zuckerberg knows how helpful human connection is. Larry Page understands how humans can work efficiently with more symmetry in information.

However, I also understand that being able to relate to others is not enough. It certainly depends on what field you are trying to tackle. Isaac Newton, for instance, spent most of his time alone researching. It was effective for him as his research did not need to involve relationship with humans even though the benefit to humanity is beyond what he intended to do.

In summary, I think that reaching success is mostly a matter of being able to relate to other people because we can never get out of our social environment at work and we are expected to solve social problems inside the world.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 121, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'becomes'?
Suggestion: becomes
...s likely about success. Not only has it become the main topic of self-help sections in...
^^^^^^

Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'first', 'hence', 'however', 'if', 'may', 'so', 'while', 'for example', 'for instance', 'i think', 'in summary', 'as a result', 'in the first place']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.20156555773 0.229887763892 88% => OK
Verbs: 0.19373776908 0.158761421928 122% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0802348336595 0.0866891130778 93% => OK
Adverbs: 0.041095890411 0.046263068375 89% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0880626223092 0.0685040099705 129% => Less pronouns wanted. Try not to use 'you, I, they, he...' as the subject of a sentence
Prepositions: 0.109589041096 0.118717715034 92% => OK
Participles: 0.0352250489237 0.0351676179071 100% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.64257628247 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0508806262231 0.0309702414327 164% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.00188951952338 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.0587084148728 0.0887237588012 66% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0215264187867 0.0209618222197 103% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0215264187867 0.0139019557991 155% => OK

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2587.0 2387.08602151 108% => OK
No of words: 449.0 408.028673835 110% => OK
Chars per words: 5.76169265033 5.86048508987 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60321845022 4.48200974243 103% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.340757238307 0.338922669872 101% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.231625835189 0.251872472559 92% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.153674832962 0.174417080927 88% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0913140311804 0.112833075102 81% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64257628247 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 229.0 212.727598566 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.510022271715 0.524397521467 97% => OK
Word variations: 58.3926609912 59.2087087015 99% => OK
How many sentences: 28.0 20.6684587814 135% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0357142857 20.5533526081 78% => OK
Sentence length SD: 38.7501152072 48.84282405 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 92.3928571429 120.699889404 77% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.0357142857 20.5533526081 78% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.535714285714 0.644075263715 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.5376344086 110% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.54480286738 18% => OK
Readability: 39.1982978046 45.7405998639 86% => OK
Elegance: 1.07272727273 1.45489161554 74% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.386362232016 0.300154397459 129% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.0676405138816 0.103427244359 65% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0675921891636 0.0752933317313 90% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.414136478101 0.497263757937 83% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.180268888792 0.151897553556 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.120851115266 0.114077575197 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0854534106976 0.0781384742642 109% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.297177636179 0.336927656856 88% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0360939521533 0.067059652881 54% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.255023785041 0.210909579961 121% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0469332549897 0.0618886996521 76% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8870967742 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.86379928315 207% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.91756272401 61% => OK
Positive topic words: 14.0 8.42114695341 166% => OK
Negative topic words: 6.0 2.4623655914 244% => OK
Neutral topic words: 0.0 2.75985663082 0% => More neutral topic words wanted.
Total topic words: 20.0 13.6433691756 147% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.