The majority of people who are in their early to mid-twenties think that it is important for people to study hard in school for success in a future job. They support that studying hard in school is more important because they could not enter into companies what they want without good grade. However, the notion does not reflect the stance that I hold and should not be thought about in a different light. I believe that it is important for people to have the ability to relate well to people in order to succeed in a future job. This is because companies in society require them to have the ability to cooperate with other people and studying hard in school is the basic requirement.
First of all, companies in today’s globalized world require people to have the ability to relate well to people. To be specific, in business area, that ability is the basis requirement, which as a results allows them to promote their positions. People can do this better by develop their ability related to cooperate well with other people. For example, I knew that it is important for me to develop the ability to relate well to people in order to become success in a future job; then, I have developed this ability. After few years, finally, I became an employee in Samsung electronics corporations. In that period, a number of clients and agents, about 500 persons, were my customers, who are VIP customers for my department, and have utilized my ability to well communicate with them and make every environment comfortable for doing excellent business. As pass five years with doing this business, I promoted my position from an employee to project manager. It was unbelievable happening for me and in the company. Thus, I realized that cooperation with others is more important for people than studying hard in school for success in a future job.
Moreover, although studying hard in school is important, it is just basic requirement for people. In addition, people in modern society have to develop another abilities to enter and success in a future job. In the past, it was obvious that the most important matter to succeed is to study hard. However, it is changed from that to be multi-talent, such as well-related with other people and be multilingual. For example, I am capable to speak three languages, Korean, Japanese, and English. This ability makes me more opportunities to take a business trip out of country. I had experienced having meeting with international clients and governors. Also, for doing this business, the most important skill is to cooperate with them. If I have less ability to relate well to people, I would not have lack of opportunity to have meeting with high-level clients. Consequently, more important ability to develop for people is to relate well to people; rather than, studying hard in school.
To sum up, I believe that it is important for people to have the ability to relate well to people in order to succeed in a future job. This is because companies in society require them to have the ability to cooperate with other people and studying hard in school is the basic requirement. Consequently, the importance of my views cannot be underestimated in that I can kill two birds with one stone for the reasons I have mentioned above.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 200, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a result' or simply 'results'?
Suggestion: a result; results
...lity is the basis requirement, which as a results allows them to promote their positions....
^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 693, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a are'.
Suggestion: who is a are
..., about 500 persons, were my customers, who are VIP customers for my department, and ha...
^^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'consequently', 'finally', 'first', 'however', 'if', 'moreover', 'so', 'then', 'thus', 'well', 'for example', 'in addition', 'such as', 'as a result', 'first of all', 'to sum up']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.214626391097 0.229887763892 93% => OK
Verbs: 0.168521462639 0.158761421928 106% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0779014308426 0.0866891130778 90% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0524642289348 0.046263068375 113% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0651828298887 0.0685040099705 95% => OK
Prepositions: 0.139904610493 0.118717715034 118% => OK
Participles: 0.0302066772655 0.0351676179071 86% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.75707021166 2.67179642975 103% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0651828298887 0.0309702414327 210% => Less infinitives wanted.
Particles: 0.00158982511924 0.00188951952338 84% => OK
Determiners: 0.0699523052464 0.0887237588012 79% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.00953895071542 0.0209618222197 46% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.00635930047695 0.0139019557991 46% => Some subClauses wanted starting by 'Which, Who, What, Whom, Whose.....'
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 3272.0 2387.08602151 137% => OK
No of words: 562.0 408.028673835 138% => OK
Chars per words: 5.82206405694 5.86048508987 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.86893614481 4.48200974243 109% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.361209964413 0.338922669872 107% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.270462633452 0.251872472559 107% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.161921708185 0.174417080927 93% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.112099644128 0.112833075102 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75707021166 2.67179642975 103% => OK
Unique words: 218.0 212.727598566 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.387900355872 0.524397521467 74% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 45.4234108016 59.2087087015 77% => OK
How many sentences: 27.0 20.6684587814 131% => OK
Sentence length: 20.8148148148 20.5533526081 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.0548838254 48.84282405 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.185185185 120.699889404 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.8148148148 20.5533526081 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.62962962963 0.644075263715 98% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.5376344086 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.54480286738 36% => OK
Readability: 47.86107816 45.7405998639 105% => OK
Elegance: 1.34444444444 1.45489161554 92% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.566237906191 0.300154397459 189% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.136138668873 0.103427244359 132% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.121479989146 0.0752933317313 161% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.484908695042 0.497263757937 98% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.164758148703 0.151897553556 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.24167745069 0.114077575197 212% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.13525226274 0.0781384742642 173% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.692484133809 0.336927656856 206% => Paragraphs have same ideas.
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0303784149482 0.067059652881 45% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.491421267158 0.210909579961 233% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.00823686282447 0.0618886996521 13% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 22.0 11.8870967742 185% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.86379928315 26% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.91756272401 81% => OK
Positive topic words: 18.0 8.42114695341 214% => OK
Negative topic words: 1.0 2.4623655914 41% => OK
Neutral topic words: 2.0 2.75985663082 72% => OK
Total topic words: 21.0 13.6433691756 154% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Less content wanted. Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.