TPO-24- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job. Use specific reasons and examples.
Nowadays, finding an appropriate job is a final goal for any individual. Everyone wants to have the chance to make money and can manage his life so he can achieve prosperity in the future. Due to this goal, some people believe that it is better for anyone to experience part-time job from teen aging. Personally, I agree with this group. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
First of all, I believe that children who experience working from when they are a teenager, lead them to understand what they are interested in and what can be their future job. They can feel a real job and its advantages and disadvantages and define one way as their goal and choose it to continue for their future. My own experience is a compelling example of this. When I was thirteen years old, I started working in a drugstore as a simple seller in my summer holidays. Gradually, I found out I am interested in making drugs. So I decided to study in the required major in the university and now I have my own drugstore. If I had not worked as a seller in my teen aging, I would not have continued it as my current job.
Secondly, children who have a part-time job without any serious responsibility can gain various experiences. They encounter different people while working. So, they can not only develop their communication but also improve their social behavior. Consequently, they may find some relations that can lead them to future job opportunities. For instance, one of my friends worked as a cashier in a big store when he was a teenager. After some years, one of his costumers that had a significant company, suggest my friend work for him as an accountant. If my friend had not experienced that part-time job, he would not have that job opportunity as an accountant after some years.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that working part-time for teenagers is the greatest way for them to succeed. This is because not only they find what they are interested in for their future, but also they can strengthen their relations and make various opportunities for the future.
Comments
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, while, for instance, i feel, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 62.0 43.0788530466 144% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 32.0 52.1666666667 61% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1741.0 1977.66487455 88% => OK
No of words: 372.0 407.700716846 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.68010752688 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.39173103935 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.82540437353 2.67179642975 106% => OK
Unique words: 180.0 212.727598566 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.483870967742 0.524837075471 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 555.3 618.680645161 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 35.9522232731 48.9658058833 73% => OK
Chars per sentence: 82.9047619048 100.406767564 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.7142857143 20.6045352989 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.95238095238 5.45110844103 109% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.22264440792 0.236089414692 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0714520562102 0.076458572812 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0522550623302 0.0737576698707 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.153518749194 0.150856017488 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0229704517885 0.0645574589148 36% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.5 11.7677419355 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 58.1214874552 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.57 10.9000537634 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.54 8.01818996416 94% => OK
difficult_words: 72.0 86.8835125448 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.