At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.please help me refine my essay.

That college plays a significant role in everyone’s life is an undeniable fact. Should officials realize the importance of sport and social activities in our physical and mental health they will ponder over it much more scrupulously. Attending to the other activities than learning and researching in the university or college has recently been the topic of debate among experts. I think that these educational centers should pay much more attention to the social and physical activities of their students, because it eventually lead to have better results in their learning. Sticking just in one aspect causes inevitable damages for that society.

I do believe that even though the main goal of the education centers is increasing the knowledge of their pupil, they should allocate time and financial resources to the other activities as well and these are my justifications. To begin with, one of the most significant disadvantages of the modern life is the reduction in the people physical activities and it leads to increase many illnesses. For doing anything the first urge is being healthy and the studying and researching is not an exception. With regard to the hours which students spend in the college or university and the age that they are, these centers are best place to do exercise and stay healthy, therefore reduce the costs of treatment for the government.

The second reason why I advocate this point of lies in the fact that experts and psychologists believes that when we do recreation or play sports our body secrets some kind of chemicals which cause mind to get refresh, thrive and work better. Social activities are have the similar influence on the students and promote the level of educational efficiency among students. Also doing extra programs like sports and activities related to them create a competitive, cheerful and active environment. I convinced with this Persian proverb: “a well mind is in a healthy body.”

Finally, involving in some social activities like working as a journalist in your college's journal, helps you to develop your options and experiences; sometimes getting experiences from these social activities help you find your main interests which they have been lost before. In addition sometimes people do not find themselves and their interest in their scientific major, or maybe they have an athleticism talent which they do not know before that.

Having discussed the issue from this point of view, I would rather look at it from another perspective as well. Main purpose of students to attend universities is to be educated not to play sports or do social activities. As a matter of fact they do not expect to be a professional athlete they want to educate. Some people believe that they can join and use other centers, like sport clubs, to do sport or social activities. Therefore this education centers should pay superior attention to their core duty which it is educating people.

By taking all above-mentioned arguments into consideration, the following conclusion can be drawn about the issue. Underestimating the importance of side activities such as sport and social activities in learning centers is not logical. Attending to this issue meticulously contributes to allocating same financial resources to the entertainment, and can improve several aspects of society.

Votes
Average: 8 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

because it eventually lead to have better results
because it eventually leads to have better results

experts and psychologists believes that
experts and psychologists believe that

Social activities are have the similar influence
Social activities have the similar influence

Also doing extra programs like sports and activities related to them create a competitive, cheerful and active environment
Also doing extra programs like sports and activities related to them creates a competitive, cheerful and active environment

sometimes getting experiences from these social activities help you find your main interests
sometimes getting experiences from these social activities helps you find your main interests

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Words: 539 350 //Write the essay in 30 minutes. Put less content. 5 paragraphs are enough. Double check grammar & spelling issues after essay writing.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 539 350
No. of Characters: 2746 1500
No. of Different Words: 265 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.818 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.095 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.84 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 198 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 153 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 110 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 84 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.435 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.155 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.565 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.281 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.526 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.059 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5