writing 24
Many people believe that one of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job; to explain more, they believe that part-time jobs is an important activity for teenagers. On the other hand, there some other people who believe that parents cannot help their children prepare for adult life by encourage them to take a part-time job; moreover, they believe that children and teenagers should spend their valuable time for their lessons and their education. They also believe that teenagers may become unhappy because of a part-time job. However, I agree with the first group because of some important reasons that I am going to explain.
First of all, teenage children are very interested in experiences of new things. For example, when I was teenager, I started my first part-time job in a computer company. That was my first experience; moreover, I was very happy because I was able to learn many new things about computers, which have many positive effects on every person's life. I also became familiar with fundamental bases about the basic of computer in that company. It is better to notice that my father encouraged me to take that job.
In addition, part-time jobs help children prepare for their future job position. To explain more, when someone has experience on a specific field; as a result, he or she is able to determine that job, and is able to make decision about his feelings on that job. For example, one of my friends who was my classmate in high school was encouraged with her father to work in a bakery; after a while, he found that he loves to work in bakery, and he has his own bakery shop.
Finally, I believe that teenagers love to have their own money, they also love to become independent; to explain more, teenage children love to earn money by their hand, they like to use their money on the way that they like to. For example, when I was eighteen years old, I stopped getting money from my father, and I started to work in a restaurant as a waiter; moreover, that was a part-time job but helped me to become independent. As a result, I have earned my own money since that time.
Overall, I believe that one of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job because of the reasons that I mentioned above.
by encourage them to take a part-time job;
by encouraging them to take a part-time job;
when I was teenager
when I was a teenager
flaws:
No. of Words: 426 while No. of Different Words: 166
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Try this pattern:
Para 1: introduction. my choice: A or B. agree or disagree.
Para 2: First,reason 1 (1 sentence) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences) + examples for reason 1 (around 2 sentences) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences).
Para 3: Second,reason 2 ,blabla... do the same thing as First
Para 4: Third, reason 3 blabla... do the same thing as First but shorter
Para 5: Conclusion.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 426 350
No. of Characters: 1914 1500
No. of Different Words: 166 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.543 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.493 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.37 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 126 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 101 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 56 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.625 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.028 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.812 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.402 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.613 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.198 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5