Poor academic performance among students is caused by their obsession with social networks like Facebook. Do you agree with the statement? Justify your viewpoints with suitable examples.
Judging on the great number of hours that students spend browsing the various social networks, it is difficult for me not to agree with the statement. However, on second thought, it would also be unfair to blame only this obsession for the poor academic peformance, as there are many others factors involved. Besides there is also no denying that these social networks do bring some benefits for the students, directly or not.
Yes, spending a great number of hour on the facebook is a threat to students’ academic performance. Imagine the time that they are supposed to spend revising and doin...
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Sentence: However, on second thought, it would also be unfair to blame only this obsession for the poor academic peformance, as there are many others factors involved.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to others and factors
Sentence: Things would be worse if the this social activitiy goes on until the wee hours of the morning, where students would be coming to school yawning away and there would be no focus in lessons.
Description: The word this is not usually used as a qualifier, pre
Suggestion: Refer to this
Sentence: The worst that could happen is they would fall asleep even before going to school.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to is and they
Sentence: The low functioning would not be able even to master the basic reading skill while the luckier would benefit enough if the could just read and count at the basic level.
Description: The token the is not usually followed by a modal auxillary
Suggestion: Refer to the and could
Sentence: However, on second thought, it would also be unfair to blame only this obsession for the poor academic peformance, as there are many others factors involved.
Error: peformance Suggestion: performance
Sentence: Imagine the time that they are supposed to spend revising and doing homeworks are wasted in the excitement of socialising in the digital world, with friends in the same community and those far away.
Error: socialising Suggestion: socializing
Sentence: As revision and homeworks are among the keys toward succesful academic achievements, there is no doubt that these students might fail their examinations.
Error: succesful Suggestion: successful
Sentence: Things would be worse if the this social activitiy goes on until the wee hours of the morning, where students would be coming to school yawning away and there would be no focus in lessons.
Error: activitiy Suggestion: activity
Sentence: These cases of low academic performance has nothing to do wth obsession with social networks.
Error: wth Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: On the other hand, other bright students who are obsessed with these social networks go on doing well in life as they are more disciplined, smart enough to control themselves not to let their socialising activities jeorpadise their academic performance by strictly obeying their study schedules.
Error: socialising Suggestion: socializing
Error: jeorpadise Suggestion: jeopardize
Sentence: Of course parents also play their role, monitoring the children's activiities and their academic progress.
Error: activiities Suggestion: activities
Sentence: The moment a student realises that studying is affected, he should buckle up and make things right.
Error: realises Suggestion: realizes
flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 6
Category: Excellent Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 567 350
No. of Characters: 2760 1500
No. of Different Words: 277 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.88 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.868 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.486 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 189 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 141 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 100 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.625 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.606 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.29 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.527 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.093 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5