You purchased a 2 year membership to a fitness center next to your neighborhood based on an advertisement After a period of time you discovered that the services described on the advertisement are not found in the center You tried to talk to the manager b

Essay topics:

You purchased a 2-year membership to a fitness center next to your neighborhood based on an advertisement. After a period of time, you discovered that the services described on the advertisement are not found in the center. You tried to talk to the manager, but he did nothing to help.Write an email to the owner of the fitness center in about 150-200 words. Your email should do the following things:

Describe the services that are only in the advertisement and not in the center.
Complain about the way the manager dealt with the situation.
Describe what should be done to resolve this problem.

Dear Sir/Madam,

I have enrolled myself for two years membership with your fitness center to avail your services. However, I came to know that these services have not been introduced so far as advertised.

Your company advertised the commencement of yoga sessions and boot camps on every alternate day. Besides, you have advertised about newly trained and qualified instructors. Sadly, you failed to keep your promise as the boot camp and yoga classes only operates once a week and the instructors do not have any idea about the healthy diets.

Hence, I turned to your manager to express my grudge of your services. He profusely denied about any of such commitments and argued irrationally. When I resisted he threatened me to layoff my membership. I felt from his behavior as I am availing these facilities for free.

I want you to initiate these services as scheduled in your advertisement instantly and hire professional staff or refund my money so I can search for another reputed center.

Your immediate consideration in this matter is required.

Yours

Noor Ali Bhayani

Votes
Average: 7.8 (2 votes)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 147, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “When” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ch commitments and argued irrationally. When I resisted he threatened me to layoff m...
^^^^
Line 13, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...deration in this matter is required. Yours Noor Ali Bhayani
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, hence, however, if, so

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 2.0 13.1623246493 15% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 1.0 7.85571142285 13% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 10.4138276553 67% => OK
Relative clauses : 2.0 7.30460921844 27% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 33.0 24.0651302605 137% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 18.0 41.998997996 43% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 3.0 8.3376753507 36% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 923.0 1615.20841683 57% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 178.0 315.596192385 56% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.18539325843 5.12529762239 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.65262427087 4.20363070211 87% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.9077525029 2.80592935109 104% => OK
Unique words: 122.0 176.041082164 69% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.685393258427 0.561755894193 122% => OK
syllable_count: 289.8 506.74238477 57% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 5.43587174349 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 0.0 2.52805611222 0% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.10420841683 48% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.76152304609 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 16.0721442886 75% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 14.0 20.2975951904 69% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 41.6702498459 49.4020404114 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 76.9166666667 106.682146367 72% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.8333333333 20.7667163134 71% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.58333333333 7.06120827912 37% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.38176352705 114% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.01903807615 40% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.67935871743 46% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 3.4128256513 147% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.220512294285 0.244688304435 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0708103662673 0.084324248473 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0582430027887 0.0667982634062 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.111012412655 0.151304729494 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0547761789847 0.056905535591 96% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.4 13.0946893788 79% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.27 50.2224549098 114% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.8 11.3001002004 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.23 12.4159519038 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.86 8.58950901804 103% => OK
difficult_words: 51.0 78.4519038076 65% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 9.78957915832 87% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.6 10.1190380762 75% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Minimum 250 words wanted.

Rates: 56.1797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.33 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.