Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order to succeed, you should be more like others than be different from everyone else. (100207CN=081011NA)
All roads are to Roman , as the proverb goes . This saying indicated that there are numerous way to success. When in my childhood, parents always tell us to imitate other first , and then create my own learning style in studying. As I followed this thesis for many years , I definitely disagree with the point that people should be like others than be distinct from everyone else for the sake of succeed.
Admittedly, being like others is probably a essential method to succeed , since people who share the same goal with successful people can save a lot of energy and time by imitation. However, this way can not work in some extent. For example, Gu babylun , a ancient city in the world , has follow the approache to cope with the problem of soil erosion from a ancestor who comes from other England . But the situation between the two country are totally different . Hence , the result can be guess: the problem became more severe. Thus, to some degree, purely simulation is not always is correct way due to different conditions.
First all , as we know quite well, most of famous people such as Ma Yun , Steven Jobs and Bill Gates success in depend on their talent but not pure imitation. In the started phase , people should learn more basic knowledge from predecessor , since this is a only way to enhance your ability . Next, the success create their own theory on the base of fundamental knowledge. This is a most significant process lead to success. For example , Newton , a excellent physics in the world , find a phenomenon of gravity . Without the basic knowledge leant from predecessor , he can not compose the theory of Laws of Motion. Hence he said that I¡¯m standing on the shoulder of giant. Thus , it is impossible for people who purely depend on stimulation achieve his or her success.
Secondly, people different from others always have creative ideas and solutions . Nowadays , breakthrough has been seem as a more crucial issue for the society . Meanwhile , people with diverse opinion are creative enough to make more breakthrough. These people create huge amount of opportunity for the company and firm. So , human resource management desire for this kind of elites. For example , my aunt , who is a financial engineer , always intelligent in creative . When she was young , she is totally different from others since her minds is beyond her peers. Accidently , she has come up with a model of finance about how to work efficiently with the new financial product . So he succeed in his career and has been attached great importance to .
Last but not least , making difference with others could attract more attention from the society ,which helps you outstand among the common people. These people are more likely to be recognize in the society .Moreover, they can play a special role in performance .Thus these person can be readily becoming a movie star or famous people as a success in career of performance .
By and large , pure imitation can not lead to a success whereas with the assistance of distinctive namely being different with others , can we get close to success.
simulation is not always is correct way due to different conditions.
Description: two verbs in one sentence.
Next, the success create their own theory
Next, the success creates his own theory
This is a most significant process lead to success.
This is a most significant process which leads to success.
Newton , a excellent physics in the world ,find a phenomenon of gravity .
Newton , an excellent physics in the world ,found a phenomenon of gravity .
These people are more likely to be recognize in the society
These people are more likely to be recognized in the society
Sentence: This saying indicated that there are numerous way to success.
Description: The fragment numerous way to is not usually preceded by are
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace way with ways
Sentence: As I followed this thesis for many years , I definitely disagree with the point that people should be like others than be distinct from everyone else for the sake of succeed.
Description: The token of is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to of and succeed
Sentence: For example, Gu babylun , a ancient city in the world , has follow the approache to cope with the problem of soil erosion from a ancestor who comes from other England .
Description: A verb 'to have', present tense, 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to has and follow
Sentence: Thus, to some degree, purely simulation is not always is correct way due to different conditions.
Description: The fragment , purely simulation is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace purely with adjective
Sentence: First all , as we know quite well, most of famous people such as Ma Yun , Steven Jobs and Bill Gates success in depend on their talent but not pure imitation.
Description: The token in is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to in and depend
Sentence: Next, the success create their own theory on the base of fundamental knowledge.
Description: The fragment success create their is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace create with verb, past tense
Sentence: So he succeed in his career and has been attached great importance to .
Description: The fragment he succeed in is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace succeed with verb, past tense
Sentence: For example, Gu babylun , a ancient city in the world , has follow the approache to cope with the problem of soil erosion from a ancestor who comes from other England .
Error: approache Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.247 0.35
No. of Grammatical Errors: 12 2
Read a good grammar book.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 12 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 30 15
No. of Words: 523 350
No. of Characters: 2466 1500
No. of Different Words: 274 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.782 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.715 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.441 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 182 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 121 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 70 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.433 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.208 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.567 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.247 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.449 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.105 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5