Do you agree or disagree with the following statement, Younger school children, aged five to ten, should be required to study art and music in addition to math, language, science, and history.
It's common for many parents to ignore the art and music lessons of their child, for they believe those lessons are irrelavant to their child's grade in school. However, personnally, I consider the art and music an essential element to the children's growth.
Firstly, art and music lessons in early age plays an significant role in helping them find their hobit which they can benefit from for the whole life. For those who never attend any class except the math, language, science, and history. Hardly can they find what is their interest in addition to the course. That is terrible. On the countrary, children are feasible to have an idea about their talent and interest with expanding their knowledge to the art and music field. For instance, one of my classmates who has learned music class since she was six, she is crazy for the Erhu and and has strenghten a fantastic Erhu skill.
Secondly, for the kids age five to ten, studying art and music can definitely exploit their intelligence quotient and emotional quotient. We use the left brain when we are learning mathmatics while we turn to the right brain when we focus on the music and art. More importantly, the right brain can be expoit more quickly and easily, which improve our mutually and emotional ability . Consequently, not only our acadamic course learning but also the capability to gain happiness will abosolutely benefit from it. Take scientists as an example, a great part of scientists are good at art and music, say, Einstein played violin, they are able to understand the science and the world deeply.
Thirdly, the art and music course will make efforts to balance our life as an entertainment. When the kid grow up into adult, they will certainly face various kinds of questions which influence their emotion. They can use art and music to express their individual emotion and console themselves. For exemple, the pianist, no matter when they are sad, even nobody can understand it , the piano always perform as the method for them to express emotion.
In summary, if the child has an opportunity to study art and music at an early age, they are probably to find their interest as well as focer intelligence and emotion quotient, and also keep balance of their life. Another point I have to mention the parents is that, all those function can be reached only if the child's are oriented by their own willing.
art and music lessons in early age plays an
art and music lessons in early age play an
Sentence: For instance, one of my classmates who has learned music class since she was six, she is crazy for the Erhu and and has strenghten a fantastic Erhu skill.
Description: The token and is not usually followed by a conjunction, coordinating
Suggestion: Refer to and and and
Sentence: When the kid grow up into adult, they will certainly face various kinds of questions which influence their emotion.
Description: The fragment kid grow up is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace grow with verb, past tense
Description: The fragment which influence their is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace influence with verb, past tense
Sentence: It's common for many parents to ignore the art and music lessons of their child, for they believe those lessons are irrelavant to their child's grade in school.
Error: irrelavant Suggestion: irrelevant
Sentence: However, personnally, I consider the art and music an essential element to the children's growth.
Error: personnally Suggestion: personally
Sentence: Firstly, art and music lessons in early age plays an significant role in helping them find their hobit which they can benefit from for the whole life.
Error: hobit Suggestion: habit
Sentence: On the countrary, children are feasible to have an idea about their talent and interest with expanding their knowledge to the art and music field.
Error: countrary Suggestion: contrary
Sentence: For instance, one of my classmates who has learned music class since she was six, she is crazy for the Erhu and and has strenghten a fantastic Erhu skill.
Error: strenghten Suggestion: strengthen
Sentence: We use the left brain when we are learning mathmatics while we turn to the right brain when we focus on the music and art.
Error: mathmatics Suggestion: mathematics
Sentence: More importantly, the right brain can be expoit more quickly and easily, which improve our mutually and emotional ability .
Error: expoit Suggestion: export
Sentence: Consequently, not only our acadamic course learning but also the capability to gain happiness will abosolutely benefit from it.
Error: abosolutely Suggestion: absolutely
Error: acadamic Suggestion: academic
Sentence: For exemple, the pianist, no matter when they are sad, even nobody can understand it , the piano always perform as the method for them to express emotion.
Error: exemple Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: In summary, if the child has an opportunity to study art and music at an early age, they are probably to find their interest as well as focer intelligence and emotion quotient, and also keep balance of their life.
Error: focer Suggestion: forcer
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 11 2
You have same issues always. Leave about 5 minutes double check spelling and grammar issues.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 11 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 410 350
No. of Characters: 1923 1500
No. of Different Words: 212 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.5 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.69 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.391 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 119 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 99 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 56 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.579 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.009 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.526 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.327 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.531 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.112 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5