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How airplane change people's lives


Claudia39's picture

By Claudia39 - Posted on 31 May 2011

HOW AIRPLANES CAN CHANGE PEOPLE’S LIVES.

I believe that airplanes change people’s lives in so many different ways, the terrorist attack that United States suffered from al-qaeda has changed millions of peoples lives, airplanes are using also to bring help to our tropes that are in the war, consequently bringing hope to thousands of families. The airplanes are a great way of communication by bringing mail and news to people that are apart and by bringing people together, it is also a way to get away and to go away, for example go to a vacation.

First of all, the terrorist attack by al-qaeda that happened on September 11, 2001 has changed millions of people’s lives. People that used to fly every day to work, to business, to go to the other cities or states, became afraid to do so after the attack had happen.

Thousands of New York families felt obligated to move out of they homes because they wore leaving right on the airplane traffic area, they couldn’t coup with the high probability of a new attack could happen at any time, uncountable families lost they love ones on that day which has change they lives forever , in fact after the September 11 attack the al-qaeda attempted many other attack to the United States, people became afraid to fly.

Secondly, because of the airplanes we are able to help our tropes in Iraq and Afghanistan, bringing food, medical needs, armaments, news from the world and they love ones, and lots of hope for thousands of families.

Third, airplanes change people’s lives by bringing mails and packages to people that are apart in the other city state or country. Milions of families that only cominicates by mail depends on airplane to have news from they love ones.

Finally airplanes change people’s lives in the way that they can go back- and -forth to different places, to meet different people, from different ethnics, different backgrounds, different ways to see and live life. Today people can travel worldwide, for vacation, business, visit a old friend, family reunion, to go away and even get away, all because of the airplane, otherwise would be impossible make they dreams came true.

Average: 4.9 (8 votes)
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essayE-rater's picture

Sentence: I believe that airplanes change people's lives in so many different ways, the terrorist attack that United States suffered from al-qaeda has changed millions of peoples lives, airplanes are using also to bring help to our tropes that are in the war, consequently bringing hope to thousands of families.
Description: The fragment peoples lives , is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace lives with verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Sentence: The airplanes are a great way of communication by bringing mail and news to people that are apart and by bringing people together, it is also a way to get away and to go away, for example go to a vacation.
Description: The fragment a great way is not usually preceded by are
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace are with is
Description: The fragment are apart and is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace apart with adjective
Description: The fragment example go to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace go with verb, past participle
Sentence: First of all, the terrorist attack by al-qaeda that happened on September 11, 2001 has changed millions of people's lives.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: People that used to fly every day to work, to business, to go to the other cities or states, became afraid to do so after the attack had happen.
Description: The fragment had happen . is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace happen with verb, past participle
Description: A verb 'to have', past tense is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to had and happen
Sentence: Thousands of New York families felt obligated to move out of they homes because they wore leaving right on the airplane traffic area, they couldn't coup with the high probability of a new attack could happen at any time, uncountable families lost they love ones on that day which has change they lives forever , in fact after the September 11 attack the al-qaeda attempted many other attack to the United States, people became afraid to fly.
Description: The token of is not usually followed by a pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to of and they
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a Single quote
Suggestion: Refer to couldn and '
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to they and lives
Sentence: Secondly, because of the airplanes we are able to help our tropes in Iraq and Afghanistan, bringing food, medical needs, armaments, news from the world and they love ones, and lots of hope for thousands of families.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: Third, airplanes change people's lives by bringing mails and packages to people that are apart in the other city state or country.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: Milions of families that only cominicates by mail depends on airplane to have news from they love ones.
Description: A preposition is not usually followed by a pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to from and they
Sentence: Finally airplanes change people's lives in the way that they can go back- and -forth to different places, to meet different people, from different ethnics, different backgrounds, different ways to see and live life.
Description: The fragment Finally airplanes is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace Finally with adjective
Sentence: Today people can travel worldwide, for vacation, business, visit a old friend, family reunion, to go away and even get away, all because of the airplane, otherwise would be impossible make they dreams came true.
Description: An adjective is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to impossible and make

essayE-rater's picture

Sentence: Milions of families that only cominicates by mail depends on airplane to have news from they love ones.
Error: cominicates Suggestion: communicates
Error: news Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Finally airplanes change people's lives in the way that they can go back- and -forth to different places, to meet different people, from different ethnics, different backgrounds, different ways to see and live life.
Error: forth Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Today people can travel worldwide, for vacation, business, visit a old friend, family reunion, to go away and even get away, all because of the airplane, otherwise would be impossible make they dreams came true.
No spelling errors

essayE-rater's picture

No. of Spelling Errors: 6
No. of Words: 362
No. of Different Words: 168
Average Word Length: 4.671
Word Length SD: 2.406
No. of Characters: 1691

essayE-rater's picture

Average Sentence Length: 36.2
Sentence Length SD: 16.449
Use of Passive Voice: 0
Use of Discourse Markers: 0.8
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.437
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.783
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.108

essayE-rater's picture

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4 in 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 12 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 10 15
No. of Words: 362 350
No. of Characters: 1691 1500
No. of Different Words: 168 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.362 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.671 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.406 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 118 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 81 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 63 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 36.2 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 16.449 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.8 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.437 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.783 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.108 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5

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Claudia39's picture

Tks I'm working on it.