Ways to finance the art
(From "the complete guide to the TOEFL test" page 596, integrated writing task)
The topic of both the article and the lecture is the ways of finance the artists.
According to the passage, nowadays the artists can support their work with public or private funds, and in the author’s opinion the first one is the better option, although in the United States it is not the most common. Besides, he thinks that it is a good investment for the future because a recent study has demonstrated that it reports profits to the governments.
In the other hand, the professor at the art class thinks that it is not fair to support the artist and not other workers, at least with public funds. He believes that the artists should find for their own the sponsors, individuals or corporations, to finance their work. Moreover, he says to his students that if an artist can’t live from the profits of his art, he could find a job related to the art, as an art professor for example, to earn the money to live. Finally, he doesn’t agree with the writer’s idea that the government get benefits of the artists’ investment, because that would be only true in the case of collectivities of artists, not for individual artists.
Sentence: The topic of both the article and the lecture is the ways of finance the artists.
Description: The fragment the ways of is not usually preceded by is
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace is with are
Sentence: He believes that the artists should find for their own the sponsors, individuals or corporations, to finance their work.
Description: The tag an adjective is not usually followed by the
Suggestion: Refer to own and the
Sentence: Finally, he doesn't agree with the writer's idea that the government get benefits of the artists' investment, because that would be only true in the case of collectivities of artists, not for individual artists.
Description: The fragment government get benefits is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace get with verb, past tense
flaws:
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 7 15
No. of Words: 202 350
No. of Characters: 901 1500
No. of Different Words: 107 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.77 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.46 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.435 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 61 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 46 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 21 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 12 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.857 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.626 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.451 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.66 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.199 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5