The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of movie-rental stores.
"In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore's ten movie-rental stores. Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits. Last month our store in downtown Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 p.m. rather than 9:00 p.m. and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years ago. Therefore, in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering great movies at low prices, we recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine Movies Galore stores."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The owner of Movies Galore claims that he/she should apply the same alterations that were made in a store in Marston, and suggests several reasons that seem to uphold his/her claim. However, the memorandum is rife with holes and assumptions, which needs to be eliminated in order for the author of the memorandum to uphold his/her claim with clear warrant. Such flaws will be discussed with further details below.
First of all, the author assumes that the consequences of applying the same alteration as in the store in Marston would be the same in other nine Movies Galore stores. However, I should point out that data collected only from one store is not enough to be generalized to all ten stores. The types of customers who visit often could be different. For example, maybe majority of the customers who visit the store in Marston are teenagers and usually come right after the school ends, which would be before 6:00p.m. However, the usual customers in other nine stores are office workers and only has time to visit after their work time, which would be after 6:00p.m. The author would have to investigate more thoroughly on the types of usual customers among the stores before applying the same alteration as in Marston.
Furthermore, the owner assumes that people do not rent movies that are outdated and eliminating such movies would be a germane ramification. However, many movie lovers actually favor movies that are antiquated and such movies has the possibility that they are not available in any sort of medium. Maybe the only way for people who prefer watching old movies was by renting them from a movie-rental store. If this the case, then eradicating movies that were released for more than five years from the stock would be a wrong decision.
Last but not least, many people prefer watching movies online in platforms such as Netflix and Watcha nowadays. It could be much more expedite for people to watch movies on their electronic devices rather than having to walk all the way to the store, and this could be the cause of the decline in the profits. If so, then expanding the business online would be a much more apropos alteration, instead of reducing the operation time and eliminating outmoded movies.
To sum up, even though the owner of Movies Galore's claim seems plausible, through thorough investigation and reading the memorandum from various points of view, it is confirmed that his/her claim is unwarranted. In order for the author to maintain his/her claim with clear warrant, he/she would have to eliminate the flaws of making haste assumptions, premature generalization, and lack of thorough investigation.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 451 350
No. of Characters: 2153 1500
No. of Different Words: 209 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.608 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.774 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.479 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 142 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 92 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.188 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.765 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.34 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.34 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.136 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, first, furthermore, however, if, may, so, then, for example, sort of, such as, first of all, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 28.8173652695 111% => OK
Preposition: 61.0 55.5748502994 110% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2206.0 2260.96107784 98% => OK
No of words: 443.0 441.139720559 100% => OK
Chars per words: 4.97968397291 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.58776254615 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.57104366552 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 210.0 204.123752495 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.474040632054 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 689.4 705.55239521 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 22.8473053892 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 90.3745461607 57.8364921388 156% => OK
Chars per sentence: 137.875 119.503703932 115% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.6875 23.324526521 119% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.3125 5.70786347227 128% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.67664670659 235% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.253235560949 0.218282227539 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0995619767035 0.0743258471296 134% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0757179750033 0.0701772020484 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.149982180273 0.128457276422 117% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0803921696743 0.0628817314937 128% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.9 14.3799401198 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.07 48.3550499002 91% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.9 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.11 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 98.500998004 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.1389221557 115% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.